On the Anniversary of My Ordination

Today I celebrate the third anniversary of my receiving the Sacrament of Holy Orders as a deacon. As I told one of my confreres the other day at a parish picnic, there is a very real sense in which the day passes as if it is any other day. I have to carry on with the responsibilities of my daily life, and my ministry carries on as well. 

The responsibilities of both ministry and family life are oblivious to the calendar. The next time I assist at the altar during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass will not be substantially different than it was when I assisted this past weekend. The various formulae for blessing objects and people do not change because I have passed another year in ordained Ministry. There is a very real sense in which I am grateful to God merely to be able to carry on.

I love being a deacon, and I did not love it any less yesterday and did not love it any less on the day I was ordained than I do today. I will love it as much tomorrow and as much next week as I do right now. The one thing I do envy about my brothers who have passed many more years in the ordained service of the Church is that they have the added benefit of greater experience that can only come with time.

I placed my hands in Bishop Stika's hands to promise obedience
(Dan McWilliams/East Tennessee Catholic)

Ontological change happens with the simple act of the Laying On of Hands
(Stephanie Richer/Stephanie Richer Photography)

Just because I understand the reality that the anniversary of my ordination is just another day in both my ministry and my family life does not mean that the significance of the day lost upon me, or than I am attempting to shrug it off. Quite the contrary. There is a reason that those of us who are ordained remember the day that it happened, just as we remember our wedding anniversary. We understand that the day we were ordained we were changed forever.

When we vest, we kiss the cross on our stoles as a reminder of the sacrament and gift of ministry we have received.
(Stephanie Richer/Stephanie Richer Photography)

The change that myself and my brothers experienced that day was an ontological change. We all received a sacrament by means of the laying on of hands, the outward sign of the ontological mark on the soul.

Cardinal Rigali helps me put on my dalmatic, the vestment proper to a deacon, for the first time, along with my wife.
(Stephanie Richer/Stephanie Richer Photography)

The Graces we receive from this sacramental ontological change, however, are Graces which we must be open to and we must accept in order for them to have the effect that they need to have on our lives, our families, and our ministries. I know that I daily must be open to the Graces of God in order for my Ministry to be effective in the lives of the people that I serve.

Receiving the Book of the Gospels from Bishop Stika
(Stephanie Richer/Stephanie Richer Photography)

On the day I was ordained, Bishop Stika said to me (and my classmates): 

“Receive the Gospel of Christ whose herald you have become. Believe what you read, teach what you believe, and practice what you teach.”

I truly love to serve, and I hope that I have many more years to continue to do so. pray for me that God will grant me a double portion of humility, that I may be an effective servant, and a far better reflection of Christ to others.

A Marian Memorial of the Holy Spirit

One of the great reforming actions of Pope Francis' pontificate might be the small but spiritually significant reforms to the liturgical calendar and praxis that could actually help enhance her spiritual life.

One of these changes is to mandate the inclusion of St Joseph in the Eucharistic prayer. A far more significant change, in my mind, is the addition of today's Memorial to the calendar of the Church.


Today is the memorial of Mary, Mother of the Church, appropriately held on the Monday following the feast of Pentecost.

This feast day calls attention to one of Mary's most important titles next to the title of Mother of God. it speaks to the reality that Mary is the mother of the Church, and that indeed without Mary saying yes to God, there would be no Church!

It also serves to remind us something reality that Mary was actually present on the Day of Pentecost in the upper room with the disciples. That means that like them, she was a part of the particular outpouring of the Holy Spirit that occurred for the Apostolic College on that day. indeed, the mention of Mary on the Day of Pentecost is the very last direct mention of her in Sacred Scripture.

It is most fitting that we should remember the Mother of the Church on the day after we officially celebrate the birth of the Church

Bishop Tobin is Right

Bishop Thomas Tobin

Recently, Bishop Thomas Tobin of Providence, Rhode Island landed himself in hot water with many in the popular culture with this Tweet over this past weekend about some...cultural events...taking place in many parts of the country during the month of June.

A reminder that Catholics should not support or attend LGBTQ “Pride Month” events held in June. They promote a culture and encourage activities that are contrary to Catholic faith and morals. They are especially harmful for children.

— Bishop Thomas Tobin (@ThomasJTobin1) June 1, 2019

Immediately the wolves of our culture came to denounce Tobin for "spreading hate," as they usually do to any bishop, priest, or deacon who speaks out about the moral law, and some even said that he was wrong to say anything because his words would encourage hatred against the "gay community." Even some members of the clergy have gotten in on the act, trying to say on social media that what Bishop Tobin said was not compassionate.

But is the Bishop wrong? Firstly, what is the Church's official statement of its own teaching on this matter? The Catechism of the Catholic Church makes it as clear as possible for us:

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered." They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. They do not choose their homosexual condition; for most of them it is a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

The Church holds, then, that while someone's proclivity to attraction of people of the same sex is not, in and of itself, a sin, that homosexual activity is a sin. The Church calls on us to treat homosexual persons with "respect, compassion, and sensitivity," but the Church is quite clear that this compassion does not extend to acceptance of sinful behavior, and indeed that would not be compassionate at all-it could endanger many souls.

Bishop Tobin also said that that Catholics should not attend events which celebrate "Pride Month." No doubt, some readers will say "but Deacon, doesn't the Catechism say that we should treat gay people with 'respect, compassion, and sensitivity,' so shouldn't we go all out and celebrate Pride Month to support them?


 



Are you also going on public marches or attending public events to support those who have a proclivity to adultery or fornication? Would you do such a thing? If you would, I would question any claim you might make to practice bona fide Christianity. Yes, we are all sinners, but we are still called to avoid sin and the near occasion of sin. Furthermore, if we attend events which promote sin, we are giving our approval to the sin by our presence there, and if we do not approve, we will have given scandal to many other believers by the appearance of giving public approbation to grave sin. At the very least, you are saying you are proud of your concupiscence and that of others. "YAY, I am proud of my human proclivity to potentially commit sin and do evil in the sight of God!"

Sacred Scripture certainly backs up what Bishop Tobin is trying to say:

"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God." -1 Corinthians 6:9-10

What reason would anyone have to attend a rally that supports and promotes homosexual acts and faux "marriage" other than to support those acts yourself? If you don't, why would you attend an event where they do? If you would not support other deadly sins, you shouldn't support "Pride Month" either.

Some on social media are saying that Bishop Tobin "backed down" because of this statement from the Diocese of Providence:

.

A close reading of this statement shows us, however, that Bishop Tobin isn't backing down at all. He is more effectively stating Catholic teaching:

I regret that my comments yesterday about Pride Month have turned out to be so controversial in our community, and offensive to some, especially the gay community. That certainly was not my intention, but I understand why a good number of individuals have taken offense. I also acknowledge and appreciate the widespread support I have received on this matter.

 The Catholic Church has respect and love for members of the gay community, as do I. Individuals with same-sex attraction are beloved children of God and our brothers and sisters. 

 As a Catholic Bishop, however, my obligation before God is to lead the faithful entrusted to my care and to teach the faith, clearly and compassionately, even on very difficult and sensitive issues. That is what I have always tried to do – on a variety of issues – and I will continue doing so as contemporary issues arise.

 In other words, Bishop Tobin is saying "I love you, what I said was true." Indeed, he reiterated to the news media that he stands by his statement.

One of the difficulties with Twitter is that you have so little space in which to express what you are trying to get across to others. Twitter has helped to reduce our society to one in which many people take the entirety of what others say by a few characters.

It is for this reason that I personally do not recommend the use of Twitter as a means of social communication for my brother clerics. When the time comes to address controversial social and moral issues, and one feels the need to address them online (as indeed I have done in this post), other means of internet communication such as Facebook, MeWe, or blogs exist so that we may say all that needs to be said, all that the Holy Spirit might place upon our hearts. 

I would humbly recommend to Bishop Tobin that he consider one of those alternatives when the time comes, as it inevitably does in the time in which we live, to address the state of our society on internet-based social media.

Even though other means might have been better means to convey the message, what Bishop Tobin said is true. "Gay Pride" events promote grave sin. Catholics concerned for the good of their souls and the souls of others should not attend or promote them.

The end of the year and candidacy

In a little over four hours from now I will be leaving for another deaconate formation weekend, the second of our classes on the Synoptic Gospels. I do so with something approaching mixed emotions, firstly because the end of our classes will apparently not mean the end of class work (it appears that we will have at least one more paper to write, but that's okay, it goes with the territory), but moreso because I found last year entering into the summer recess that I missed many of my Aspirant brethren tremendously. I think that a bond has formed between many of us from all over the diocese, and certainly between myself and the other two Aspirants in my deanery, Steve Helmbrecht and Don Griffith. I find that I look forward with a great deal of anticipation each month to our class sessions and meetings as much for the communio and (sometimes very deep) discussions we have outside of class as for the learning I get in the classroom. It is wonderful to be among men who love the Lord and the Church as much as you do, and who aspire to devote their lives more fully to the service of God. There are times when the joy seems infectious when we are together.

It is also interesting to note how close we seem to have become to many of the hotel staff. Last month we learned of the departure from the staff of the dear lady who has taken care of us from the beginning of our journey together. I cannot speak to the feelings of the others in the class regarding this development, but I was very sorry to hear of it. She remembered all of us by name and took such care to see to it that our needs were met. I have always gotten the same accessible room on the first floor because she saw to it, and I've always gotten an automated e-mail, usually a couple of days before we were due to be there, letting me know that my room would be ready. I noted that this month I have not received such an e-mail, and I told Nicole that I hope that I have a room!

This month I will submit the letters from Nicole and from myself requesting that Bishop Stika admit me to candidacy for Holy Orders, which if he does so, will happen in October. My mentor told me that it was his experience that the men who make it to candidacy together will likely be ordained together, so it is now that I will ask for everyone's prayers for my own continued discernment, for my growth in charity, and that the Holy Spirit will guide me and conform me into what God would want me to be, and that hopefully when others see me, they will come to see Christ in me.



On this feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, pray with me the Litany of the Sacred Heart for all of our Aspirant class, for all of the Deacons of our Diocese, for Father Christopher Manning, our newly- ordained priest, for all of our seminarians, priests, religious, and those who spend their lives in God's service.

Here I am Lord, send me

I just returned yesterday from another wonderful weekend (and they are wonderful) with my Brother Aspirants as we continued our journey through the epistles of St. Paul with Father Andreas Hoeck, who is Dean of Faculty at St. John Vianny Seminary in the Archdiocese of Denver, and he's also charge of deacon formation in that archdiocese. In such a short time, we have all come to love Father Andreas and we are looking forward to having him back next year to teach us more about the Johannine literature in Sacred Scripture. Several of us also think that Father Andreas would be a fine retreat master, but I am most impressed with his humility and obvious holiness. His prayerful way of teaching the faith is an example to all of us.

Over the course of the weekend, we learned a few details in discussions outside of class about a reshuffle in priestly assignments that is about to take place in the Diocese of Knoxville. These transfers will mean that a few of my brothers may have to find new spiritual directors, for example, since their current one either will be or may be moved to a location that will not make it practical to continue regular direction. Some of us have grown used to having Father Christian Mathis nearby at St. Thomas the Apostle in Lenoir City when we are on formation weekends, since Father Christian sometimes says Mass for us on occasions when we do not have a priest instructor, as we have our formation sessions within the geographical boundaries of that parish. From time to time we have been known to attend Mass at St. Thomas the Apostle as a group, but we learned that Father Christian will be moving to a new assignment as the Campus Minister at East Tennessee State University, while Father Michael Cummins, who currently holds that assignment and who serves as spiritual director for one of my brother aspirants in our own deanery, will be serving (we are told) as Chaplain at Notre Dame High School in Chattanooga. The clerical "shuffling" is causing some minor discomfort among some of my brothers as they will have to make adjustments in the process of their own formation. Several priests will experience reassignment in our diocese, and not a few deacons, aspirants, and laity might ask "why us and why now."

The reassignment of priests, and even of deacons from time to time, is a fact of ecclesiastical life. Learning that the reality of reassignment will impact several of our precious priests and the people of God in the parishes and ministries in which they are presently serving has caused me to reflect on the very nature of the Sacrament of Holy Orders, whether as a deacon, priest, or bishop.



When a man has answered God's call to serve the Church through the Sacrament of Holy Orders, he answers the same question from God that the Prophet Isaiah did, and when the bishop ordains a man who has answered that call, the bishop is affirming that the Church believes that the man who is asking to be ordained has given the same answer to the Lord that Isaiah gave him in Isaiah 6:5-8:

And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”Then flew one of the seraphim to me, having in his hand a burning coal which he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth, and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin forgiven.” And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

Those who answer the call to Holy Orders are truly sent. This is true whether the man in question is a deacon who is ordained and sent to minister in his own parish (or in a parish or ministry he was not expecting), a priest sent to a parish or a mission far from home, a bishop sent to a mission diocese in some far-flung and isolated place, or Jorge Bergoglio being called to Rome for a conclave and never coming home again, not as the Archbishop of Buenos Aries.

When someone submits themselves in a spirit of prayerful obedience to God's will and they accept a life of service to the Church as a large part of that will, they are accepting a certain reality that in embracing God's call to ordained life, a man's life is truly not his own any longer. For a priest, that means that he should live his life in radical imitation of Christ. He has no bride except for the Church, and he goes where he is needed-where he is sent. That sometimes means leaving communities of faith and ministries  that he has grown to truly love to take up new ones where he is needed.

Deacons also have a similar sense that their lives are no longer led at their whim. Those of us who are aspirants for the deaconate know that if we are ordained, our assignment or assignments are at the bishop's discretion. We have faith that he will place us in positions that are both good for the people of God and for ourselves. Unlike priests, most deacons have what we sometimes call "one foot" in the secular world, with secular jobs, businesses, interests, or engagements in addition to our ministry...but those secular things are what we do, being a deacon will be who we are. I have noticed in myself that since I began formation in the fall of 2011, I have changed a great deal. The things that are most important to me on a daily basis have changed, the things that most matter have changed, and the things that I most desire to spend my time engaged in...those things have all changed, in some cases dramatically. Needless to say, I have no regrets about these changes, because I think God is adjusting my life to where it needs to be in order to serve him more fully. My wife was among the first people to encourage me in my own call, and that remains the case. There is a realism on my part that if ordained, I will go where I am sent. I will accept the ministry I am given, no matter how tiny and insignificant it might be.

Both Nicole and I know that if I am ordained, I will truly be "the husband of one wife" (1 Timothy 3:12)-that if anything should happen to her and I am still alive, I will never marry again. Not only is it the strict requirement of canon law, but it is a part of the charism of an ordained man that he has pledged the rest of his life to God's service. Most permanent deacons are in a unique position in that we are already married when we come before the bishop for that laying on of hands, and our wives, well, they have to agree to all of this, because if they don't, we won't be ordained.

Deacons, priests, and bishops have pledged a life of service to God, but the people of God have to cooperate in that service. That can be hard when the time comes for God to call that ordained person to their next assignment in ministry, it isn't easy to let go of a beloved pastor, minister, spiritual guide, and friend. However, a priest, a deacon, a bishop does not belong only to us, but to the whole Church, which belongs to Christ, her Divine Spouse. We all must share the gifts that we have in order that the whole Church may benefit, more souls may be added to God's Kingdom, and we might reach heaven having done all that we could to help the Church in this divine mandate.

It means that sometimes ministries will change as needs arise, but the goal of the Church remains the same. We are here to bring the Kingdom of God more fully to fruition, even if it means sacrificing for the sake of that Kingdom

Friday of the Passion of the Lord

John 18:1-19:42:

Jesus went out with his disciples across the Kidron valley
to where there was a garden,
into which he and his disciples entered.
Judas his betrayer also knew the place,
because Jesus had often met there with his disciples.
So Judas got a band of soldiers and guards
from the chief priests and the Pharisees
and went there with lanterns, torches, and weapons.
Jesus, knowing everything that was going to happen to him,
went out and said to them, "Whom are you looking for?"
They answered him, "Jesus the Nazorean."
He said to them, "I AM."
Judas his betrayer was also with them.
When he said to them, "I AM, "
they turned away and fell to the ground.
So he again asked them,
"Whom are you looking for?"
They said, "Jesus the Nazorean."
Jesus answered,
"I told you that I AM.
So if you are looking for me, let these men go."
This was to fulfill what he had said,
"I have not lost any of those you gave me."
Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it,
struck the high priest's slave, and cut off his right ear.
The slave's name was Malchus.
Jesus said to Peter,
"Put your sword into its scabbard.
Shall I not drink the cup that the Father gave me?"

So the band of soldiers, the tribune, and the Jewish guards seized Jesus,
bound him, and brought him to Annas first.
He was the father-in-law of Caiaphas,
who was high priest that year.
It was Caiaphas who had counseled the Jews
that it was better that one man should die rather than the people.

Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus.
Now the other disciple was known to the high priest,
and he entered the courtyard of the high priest with Jesus.
But Peter stood at the gate outside.
So the other disciple, the acquaintance of the high priest,
went out and spoke to the gatekeeper and brought Peter in.
Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter,
"You are not one of this man's disciples, are you?"
He said, "I am not."
Now the slaves and the guards were standing around a charcoal fire
that they had made, because it was cold,
and were warming themselves.
Peter was also standing there keeping warm.

The high priest questioned Jesus
about his disciples and about his doctrine.
Jesus answered him,
"I have spoken publicly to the world.
I have always taught in a synagogue
or in the temple area where all the Jews gather,
and in secret I have said nothing. Why ask me?
Ask those who heard me what I said to them.
They know what I said."
When he had said this,
one of the temple guards standing there struck Jesus and said,
"Is this the way you answer the high priest?"
Jesus answered him,
"If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong;
but if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?"
Then Annas sent him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.

Now Simon Peter was standing there keeping warm.
And they said to him,
"You are not one of his disciples, are you?"
He denied it and said,
"I am not."
One of the slaves of the high priest,
a relative of the one whose ear Peter had cut off, said,
"Didn't I see you in the garden with him?"
Again Peter denied it.
And immediately the cock crowed.

Then they brought Jesus from Caiaphas to the praetorium.
It was morning.
And they themselves did not enter the praetorium,
in order not to be defiled so that they could eat the Passover.
So Pilate came out to them and said,
"What charge do you bring against this man?"
They answered and said to him,
"If he were not a criminal,
we would not have handed him over to you."
At this, Pilate said to them,
"Take him yourselves, and judge him according to your law."
The Jews answered him,
"We do not have the right to execute anyone, "
in order that the word of Jesus might be fulfilled
that he said indicating the kind of death he would die.
So Pilate went back into the praetorium
and summoned Jesus and said to him,
"Are you the King of the Jews?"
Jesus answered,
"Do you say this on your own
or have others told you about me?"
Pilate answered,
"I am not a Jew, am I?
Your own nation and the chief priests handed you over to me.
What have you done?"
Jesus answered,
"My kingdom does not belong to this world.
If my kingdom did belong to this world,
my attendants would be fighting
to keep me from being handed over to the Jews.
But as it is, my kingdom is not here."
So Pilate said to him,
"Then you are a king?"
Jesus answered,
"You say I am a king.
For this I was born and for this I came into the world,
to testify to the truth.
Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice."
Pilate said to him, "What is truth?"

When he had said this,
he again went out to the Jews and said to them,
"I find no guilt in him.
But you have a custom that I release one prisoner to you at Passover.
Do you want me to release to you the King of the Jews?"
They cried out again,
"Not this one but Barabbas!"
Now Barabbas was a revolutionary.

Then Pilate took Jesus and had him scourged.
And the soldiers wove a crown out of thorns and placed it on his head,
and clothed him in a purple cloak,
and they came to him and said,
"Hail, King of the Jews!"
And they struck him repeatedly.
Once more Pilate went out and said to them,
"Look, I am bringing him out to you,
so that you may know that I find no guilt in him."
So Jesus came out,
wearing the crown of thorns and the purple cloak.
And he said to them, "Behold, the man!"
When the chief priests and the guards saw him they cried out,
"Crucify him, crucify him!"
Pilate said to them,
"Take him yourselves and crucify him.
I find no guilt in him."
The Jews answered,
"We have a law, and according to that law he ought to die,
because he made himself the Son of God."
Now when Pilate heard this statement,
he became even more afraid,
and went back into the praetorium and said to Jesus,
"Where are you from?"
Jesus did not answer him.
So Pilate said to him,
"Do you not speak to me?
Do you not know that I have power to release you
and I have power to crucify you?"
Jesus answered him,
"You would have no power over me
if it had not been given to you from above.
For this reason the one who handed me over to you
has the greater sin."
Consequently, Pilate tried to release him; but the Jews cried out,
"If you release him, you are not a Friend of Caesar.
Everyone who makes himself a king opposes Caesar."

When Pilate heard these words he brought Jesus out
and seated him on the judge's bench
in the place called Stone Pavement, in Hebrew, Gabbatha.
It was preparation day for Passover, and it was about noon.
And he said to the Jews,
"Behold, your king!"
They cried out,
"Take him away, take him away! Crucify him!"
Pilate said to them,
"Shall I crucify your king?"
The chief priests answered,
"We have no king but Caesar."
Then he handed him over to them to be crucified.

So they took Jesus, and, carrying the cross himself,
he went out to what is called the Place of the Skull,
in Hebrew, Golgotha.
There they crucified him, and with him two others,
one on either side, with Jesus in the middle.
Pilate also had an inscription written and put on the cross.
It read,
"Jesus the Nazorean, the King of the Jews."
Now many of the Jews read this inscription,
because the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city;
and it was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek.
So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate,
"Do not write 'The King of the Jews,'
but that he said, 'I am the King of the Jews'."
Pilate answered,
"What I have written, I have written."

When the soldiers had crucified Jesus,
they took his clothes and divided them into four shares,
a share for each soldier.
They also took his tunic, but the tunic was seamless,
woven in one piece from the top down.
So they said to one another,
"Let's not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it will be, "
in order that the passage of Scripture might be fulfilled that says:
They divided my garments among them,
and for my vesture they cast lots.
This is what the soldiers did.
Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother
and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas,
and Mary of Magdala.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved
he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son."
Then he said to the disciple,
"Behold, your mother."
And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

After this, aware that everything was now finished,
in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled,
Jesus said, "I thirst."
There was a vessel filled with common wine.
So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop
and put it up to his mouth.
When Jesus had taken the wine, he said,
"It is finished."
And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.

Now since it was preparation day,
in order that the bodies might not remain on the cross on the sabbath,
for the sabbath day of that week was a solemn one,
the Jews asked Pilate that their legs be broken
and that they be taken down.
So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first
and then of the other one who was crucified with Jesus.
But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead,
they did not break his legs,
but one soldier thrust his lance into his side,
and immediately blood and water flowed out.
An eyewitness has testified, and his testimony is true;
he knows that he is speaking the truth,
so that you also may come to believe.
For this happened so that the Scripture passage might be fulfilled:
Not a bone of it will be broken.
And again another passage says:
They will look upon him whom they have pierced.

After this, Joseph of Arimathea,
secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews,
asked Pilate if he could remove the body of Jesus.
And Pilate permitted it.
So he came and took his body.
Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night,
also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes
weighing about one hundred pounds.
They took the body of Jesus
and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices,
according to the Jewish burial custom.
Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden,
and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried.
So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day;
for the tomb was close by.







The above is the 2011 Liturgy of the Lord's Passion from the Cathedral of the Holy Cross in the Archdiocese of Boston. The kind people at Catholic TV have seen fit to make it available for wider consumption, and I thought I'd post it here for the benefit of all who read this blog, but especially those whose hearts and minds may be in a church today, even if their bodies cannot be. Sean Cardinal O'Malley is the celebrant.



Finally, one of the great sorrowful hymns of Good Friday...O Sacred Head Surrounded.

New Catholics will need hellos and examples of holiness

Those of you who celebrated Morning Lauds this morning sang or chanted the 42nd Psalm as the first chant, a psalm which has opening words in verses one and two that may be familiar to many Catholics, and certainly set me in a Holy Week mindset. The Grail translation, which is generally what is used in the English-speaking world for the psalter in the Liturgy of the Hours, renders Psalm 42:1-2 in this way:

Like the deer that yearns for running streams, so my soul is yearning for you, my God.

My soul is thirsting for God, the God of my life; when can I enter and see the face of God?

Although this psalm repeats in the four-week psalter at various times throughout the year, it is always to be found at Lauds on Monday morning of Holy Week. Another time you might hear these words is at the Easter Vigil Mass during baptisms of catechumens or on Easter Sunday morning if anyone is baptized at that time. Reciting these words this morning reminded me in a very real way that while the entire Church is invited to join Christ in ascending the mount of Calvary this week and in waiting and celebrating at the Empty Tomb, catechumens and candidates for full communion with the Holy Catholic Church are waiting with anticipation for the opportunity to receive Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. Throughout Lent, we've prayed for catechumens and candidates, and I've had the opportunity-as I do each year-to assist in the formation of catechumens who will be baptized and candidates for full communion-I know how much they are looking forward to becoming a part of the Church at the weekend.





I can also speak with some experience about the excitement many of them feel knowing that their baptisms or reception into full Communion with the Church are now but days away, because some years ago, I was in their shoes. I wasn't baptized at Easter-because of scheduling issues, I had to wait until Pentecost Sunday-but I do remember how I couldn't wait to receive the Eucharist. The opening words of today's first psalm at Lauds are an apt description of how I felt, and I think is probably an apt description of how many catechumens feel around our diocese, and around the country and the world. They are eager, but there is a question that hangs over some of them.


After Easter, and after the formal mystagogia phase of their formation is over, what is to become of them? I know that we still have a few from years' past that I see at Mass, and that are active in the parish. I'm also sure that some move to other parishes and become active where they live. There is a third group, however, that I have always felt particularly burdened in prayer for, and that group are those people who come to Mass for a few months but then fall away. Often, they do this because no one other than the people on the RCIA team seem to them to display any friendship or interest in them. Indeed, I've heard that complaint from at least one former candidate that I know. I am certain that while those who say these things might be looking at things superficially from time to time, more often I think that it is not unreasonable for new Catholics who have willingly joined the Church of their own accord under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to expect that members of their parish community will befriend them and seek to include them, not merely to boost membership numbers in a parish group, but out of a real interest in that person's spiritual development.


I firmly believe that I took such a keen continued interest in the Church in my early days as a Catholic because some holy clergy and laypeople took an active interest in me and my spiritual development, and encouraged me to become involved with things in the Church that they saw I was interested in and good at, and encouraged me to develop a prayer life and a real relationship with both God and with the people around me. In short, I was very heavily encouraged to begin living out the faith into which I had been baptized and was willing to publicly profess. Because there were people around me at the time within the Church who encouraged me in this way, I believe that the spiritual road which the Holy Spirit put me on was leading me to where I am today in deaconate formation, though I couldn't have seen or understood it at that time in my life.


Obviously, not everyone who participates in the RCIA process is going to feel called to deaconal or priestly formation or to life as part of a vowed religious community. New Catholics are all called, however, to be a part of the most important priesthood of all, and that is the royal priesthood of all the baptized, a chosen nation, St. Peter tells us, who are called to "declare the wonderful deeds of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." (1 Pet. 2:9) There is what Blessed John Paul II rightly called a "universal call to holiness" which new Catholics (and all Catholics) are called to live out-being the Body of Christ present in a world that is often skeptical of that Body and hostile to it. It can be difficult for new Catholics to live out that call to holiness if they don't have holy people around them ready to help them in their faith.


If you have adults in your parish who are being baptized or received into the Church this coming weekend, watch closely to see who they are. Say hello to them. Invite them to prayer groups, adoration,  or Bible study. Seek them out just to introduce yourself, most of the time a friendly word just to know that the parish community still cares about them may mean the world to them and open their hearts to allowing the Holy Spirit to work even more deeply in their lives. In a few weeks, the formal part of their formation will be ended, but they need that continuing formation that we all need in order to make our faith the very center of our lives that God calls us to make it. Those who will come into the Church this weekend need our prayers and our support, so that they will always long after the Lord "like the deer that yearns for running streams."

A little prompting of the Holy Spirit

Not this past weekend, but the one prior (March 9th and 10th), I had an opportunity to attend a retreat at our parish called Christ Renews His Parish. Our parish's lone remaining deacon, Deacon Jim Fage, was also there for much of the time. The retreat was largely given to us by some wonderful members of St. Francis de Sales parish in Lebanon, Ohio. They came and gave of themselves for us that we might in return give a similar retreat to others in the near future (hopefully in about six months). It was a wonderful and spiritually enriching weekend for everyone. I was most heartened that the deacon from St. Francis, Deacon Jay Rettig, came to help with the retreat because we had a wonderful time of exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, at the beginning of which Deacon Jay preached a wonderful homily based on John 6. Deacon Jay also preached the Sunday homily for the 11:30 Mass, and was kind enough to pray Vespers with me Saturday night (because I was by that point finding it hard to keep my eyes open, finding a prayer partner was a real help).

For me, there were several "a-ha" moments during the retreat, especially on Sunday. However, for me the most important thing that happened occurred outside of our retreat sessions. On Saturday night our lay retreat director, Scott Shafer, had organized a social hour after many of us had finished adoring the Eucharist and praying the rosary. I intended to go, as I had thought it would provide an opportunity for me to get to know some of the men from our parish who were on the retreat that I did not know as well. After all, I reasoned, if I am going to be ordained, I may be serving some of these men and their families. En route to the place of the social I stopped by the basement chapel where a group of men-some from St. Francis and some from St. Pat's-were praying for and over one another and each other's needs and intentions. I had prayer intentions as well, so I figured that I would go in and ask for prayer, and I did so. When my turn requesting and receiving the prayers of those assembled was finished, I thought that I would leave their presence and go to the social, indeed I headed for the door...


...But something...someone...stopped me, and I believe that someone was the Holy Spirit. I heard clearly.

"You will not go to the social and have a beer. You will not do so until you have stayed in this place and prayed for, with, and over every one of these men."


I did what I was told by the Holy Spirit, and I was glad that I did. I learned people's needs and intentions and added many to my personal prayer list. Most importantly, I gained a spiritual treasure by gaining the prayer partnership of some very wonderful human beings. As they helped me by their prayers, I pray that I was able to be of some comfort to them with mine, and that I continue to be.


By the time we were finished, I was exhausted, which is why it was so hard for me to stay awake for the Office, but after Deacon Jay and I prayed it I was ready to retire for the night.


A special thank you should be given to Father Joseph Hammond, who allowed me to use the episcopal apartment for the night that night. I didn't request this, it was volunteered. This apartment is part of the rectory and was added for those occasions when the bishop might visit our parish. When Monsignor Garrity was with us, and his late mother came to stay with our parish family, Ms. Sylvia lived in the bishop's quarters. It was comfortable and certainly spacious, although I had no time to enjoy that. I think I got four hours of sleep that night, if that...but it felt like holy deprivation!

Thoughts on Pope Francis

I knew the moment that Pope Francis stepped out on the loggia that there was something I really liked about him. I was first struck by the way he appeared on the balcony, and asked that before he imposed the Apostolic Blessing, the people should pray for him. He led people in an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and a Glory Be for him and for Benedict XVI. For awhile he bowed his head in silent prayer-the massive rain-soaked crowd was silent. His entire first appearance to the world was centered on prayer.


Since his election yesterday, I've learned quite a lot about Pope Francis. I've learned that as Archbishop of Buenos Aries, he was offered a permanent post in the Roman Curia by Blessed John Paul II, but he politely and respectfully turned it down. Instead, he remained Archbishop of the Argentine capital, and eschewed the well-appointed episcopal residence for a sparse apartment. He turned down the car and driver which the Archdiocese provided for him and took the bus and the subway instead. One person from Buenos Aries said in a news interview that if you wanted to have an audience with Cardinal Brogolio, you just needed to know which train or bus he was taking. Oh, and in addition to his ecclesiastical duties, he apparently cared for a fellow Jesuit priest with a disability who stayed with him at his little apartment. I identify with the Holy Father, because when I was a single man, I lived in the city and I took the bus everywhere-I had to because of my own disability (the Holy Father obviously identifies with disabled people since he was close friends with and cared for a disabled person).


He apparently turned down his official Vatican car and decided instead to take the bus with the cardinals back to Casa Santa Martha. He took the Vatican's equivalent of a taxi to the Basilica of St. Mary Major this morning, and celebrated the Mass to close the conclave at the Sistine Chapel where he said in his homily “we can build so many things but if we don’t confess Jesus Christ, then something is wrong. We will become a pitiful NGO [non-governmental organization], but not the Church, spouse of Christ.”


In formation, we are taught about the meaning of diakonia, from which we get the word "deacon." That word, in the Greek, means "servant" or "slave." One of the most obvious uses of the word is to be found in Philippians 2:7-8, where we are told that Jesus "emptied himself, taking the form of a servant [diakonia], being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross."


In his homily today, Pope Francis talked a lot about the cross and the need for believers to take it up. In fact, he said that to claim Christ but be unwilling to take up his cross doesn't make us believers at all. It has struck me that we talk a lot about diakonia and servanthood, and with good reason, because that is part of the calling of a deacon. In Pope Francis, it seems that we have a living example to the whole world of what diakonia is really all about.

Self-denial and solidarity in a place of abundance.

As part of our Lenten discipline, Nicole and I began a new diet on Ash Wednesday, something that we both know lots of people do for Lent. However, this plan is different in that it doesn't require us to starve (i.e. when I eat, I feel like I have eaten), but it does require us to eat better food, and by that I don't mean light this or fat free that, I mean better quality food. We're in the first phases now, which means that some things I'll be able to integrate into my diet later I can't yet have, even though if we keep to the plan after Lent (and we're going to) some of those things will be allowed again. The basic principle of the plan (there are variants and some are stricter than others) is that if something is a natural food, you may either eat it or you will be able to eat it eventually, but if something has been refined or processed in an unnatural way, or if it has had unnatural colors or preservatives added to it, it is forbidden. This requires some skill at label-reading and knowing what strange sounding ingredients are really some acceptable natural derivative and which are something artificial and forbidden.


Leading up to Lent, we eased our way into the plan by occasionally eating meals filled with foods that either would be allowed on the diet in the initial phases, or would be eventually allowed. (Refined sugar is totally prohibited at any time, so those of you who know of my love for cookies, I beg of you not to tempt me with them, especially since I have done well to avoid sugar thus far). We also went on a couple of good shopping trips to make sure that our fridge and pantry is filled with good food that we can eat. There isn't anything special about most of this food, but it is natural food. The biggest obvious "newfangled" foods we have to buy are salts that are rich in minerals (and thus have color), as opposed to the refined table salt we are all used to. This experience has led me to what may be a new kind of solidarity with the poor, and not because of food deprivation as you might expect.


Preparing our pantry and home as we need to in order that we might eat right and eat well is not an easy task, but it isn't because the foods we need are not available-they are. Rather, it is because good food is expensive. We have seen a marked increase in our grocery bill, and were it not for the fact that we raise goats and chickens and have access to clean meat and will have fresh milk (from which to make our own cheese, yogurt, and even sometimes butter) in the middle spring, I don't know if we could even afford to do this the way it should be done. America is one of the few countries in the world where obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and related illnesses are especially problems among the very poor, and that is especially the case in Appalachia. Many of our poor are well-fed, but they are truly malnourished. It has struck me during the process of preparing for this new lifestyle change that a big reason for that may be that the food that is the cheapest, that which the very poor can afford may fill their bellies in this country, but that food is killing them-filled as it is with additives, preservatives, and artificial things to make it "go further," so that it is cheaper to make and process and can yield the most profit, and cheaper for the consumer to afford.

We truly live in a land of great plenty and abundance, and as such it seems so wrong that the worst food that can be consumed is often the cheapest, meaning that those without means who are just trying to get by will be inclined to eat what they can most afford, rather than the best quality food which is more expensive. The poor aren't the only ones with that problem of course, since a lot of us have bought things to eat without really knowing what is in them. However, what I think to be most disturbing is the amount of good quality nutritious food that is thrown away in our country every day. I'm not talking about the leftovers we might leave on our dinner plates, I'm talking about the perfectly edible food that grocery stores, restaurants, food service providers, and other entities throw away every day, and they do this while there are people who can barely find the money to buy food, and while there are children in America who go to bed hungry.


In no way to I propose that we should regulate food prices in law-the Soviet Union tried that and it was a bitter failure, and our farmers and ranchers are entitled to make a good living for the hard work of their hands. What I have come to believe is that we have perverted the free-market system by divorcing it from the underlying principles of Christianity that built Western culture and ultimately insured that freedom of agriculture and commerce. We have become a society where the making of profit or the having of things is more important than the keeping of morals or the protection of principle, and that extends to all aspects of our daily life-including how we feed ourselves and feed the poor.


Jesus said "I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me...Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink?'...And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’" (cf. Matt. 25:35-40)

A brief reflection on...reflection

As you may have noticed, I have removed the clock in the left sidebar-at least for now. I have done this in part after reflecting for awhile on the words of a commenter to this blog that they felt distracted by the presence of the clock and the words above it-"Time Is Short." This person said that they loved this site, but that they come here for the "warmth and security" of the Lord's presence that they feel when they are here. I am truly humbled that there are those of you who see this blog as a place of reflection, and I want to be as good a pastoral influence as I can-no one who truly loves the Church as I do wants to lead people away from the things of God.

I still haven't given up the idea of a clock somewhere on the blog at some point in the future, however, but If one does return, I'd like it to look something like the clock on Father Martin Fox's blog. I think Father Martin still utilizes blogger's old HTML coding, which made it relatively easy to put a clock or anything else anywhere you wanted if you knew anything about the code-I'd love to find a more unobtrusive place if possible. However, this blog is one of Blogger's newer designs, and to be honest-I can't figure out the coding on it! I initially decided to try a widget that I could easily "figure out." Clearly, this may have been "easy" for me, but perhaps it resulted in a lack of good pastoral judgment on my part. If I may shamelessly quote the Holy Father, I beg you to please "forgive my defects."


Since some of you are using your visits here as a time to read and have spiritual reflection (something for which I am most unworthy compared to some others), I thought I might share a hymn with you for your prayer and meditation. If you are one of the few who have read this blog from the beginning you might recall that I posted a tribute on All Saints of 2011 to the late Father Chris Rohmiller, who helped guide me into the Church years ago. As I said in that post, Father Chris introduced me to a great many things that continue to inform my spirituality today, and a few things that filled my stomach that probably shouldn't have, like the fettuccine at Mamma DiSalvo's and at Giovanni's. Good for the soul if not for the bodily health!


One of the things Father Chris introduced me to in the time that he was a part of my spiritual life was the music of the Taize Community, which I still love today. This is my favorite Taize prayer hymn-"In the Lord I'll Be Ever Thankful."

Ash Wednesday

Today we will hear those words "Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return." They are the words God said to Adam and Eve when they were expelled from the Garden of Eden. When all that he had was so suddenly taken from him, Job said "naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (cf. Job 1:20)

The beginning of 2013 has certainly been a rocky start for Nicole and myself. We experienced some unexpected car trouble that kept me away from a formation workshop-the first such formation-related event I have ever missed, and I hope the last. We then experienced a series of unexpected minor calamities, none of which would be a very big deal by themselves, but which, happening all at once, had the effect of depleting the bank account unexpectedly. Then my grandmother passed away, although we knew it was coming. At the end of this past week, a cousin of Nicole's had his life brought to an end at a youthful age. Last night at RCIA, I learned that not only was a dear friend who is part of our RCIA team having chest pains, but that he was told by his doctor to go immediately to hospital.  The early weeks of this Year of Our Lord 2013 have shown us how fragile and delicate our lives are.

We are blessed to serve a God of second chances, and Lent is all about second chances. It is a season of conversion and repentance and penance on the one hand, and renewal and refreshment and new life (as we know we move toward Easter and the Lord's Resurrection). However, Lent is also a reminder to us that taking advantage of God's mercy is our choice, and we only have one life to do it in.  That, coincidentally, is why you see the clock on the left sidebar of this blog. Yes, you will be able to tell the time by . More importantly, however, it is my hope that it will serve as a reminder that God's me for us in this world is finite-each of us has one life to do our part for the Kingdom of God.

Some will hear the words today "turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel." We are called to a life of fidelity to God, and today is a reminder that no matter what we might have done, Christ is ready to receive us in love all over again.

Be not afraid

Yesterday was one of those days when I needed the readings that were presented, and I believe the Holy Spirit spoke to me through them in a special way. As you might have figured out by reading my posts, there have times when I have struggled with my own worthiness to be in formation. I have questioned, as I am sure many men have on the road to the deaconate, my own worthiness to be there. There are times when I have thought "I am not as holy as others, Lord, why choose me," or even (in honesty) "I am a cripple, Lord, what can I do to minister to others in your name that brings the Church to them." I have struggled with this at times with a full understanding that no small part of this comes from the devil, who delights at bringing discouragement to us. Even knowing that, however, it helps to be reminded that God's ways are not our ways, and that he doesn't work in the same way that we do, not even remotely-though he often uses human agents to do his work.

I thought of those times I have been discouraged about my own ministry when I heard the readings yesterday, and the thought of God's goodness overwhelmed me nearly to the point of tears as I listened to the vision of the Prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 6:6-8:

Then I said, “Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” Then one of the seraphim flew to me, holding an ember that he had taken with tongs from the altar. He touched my mouth with it, and said, “See, now that this has touched your lips, your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.” Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” “Here I am,” I said; “send me!”

The real a-ha moment came in the second reading, when St. Paul described his own unworthiness to exercise his special calling as an apostle when, unlike the other apostles, he didn't walk and talk with the Lord when he was personally present, and he persecuted the Church in his zeal, but he told the Corinthians in 1st Corinthians 15:8-11 that God put him in his office entirely because of his mercy and grace:

Last of all, as to one born abnormally, he appeared to me. For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective. Indeed, I have toiled harder than all of them; not I, however, but the grace of God that is with me. Therefore, whether it be I or they, so we preach and so you believed.

At this point, I felt like the Lord was hitting me over the head with a proverbial frying pan, as if to say: "Is this clear enough for you?" He was telling me that his concept of worthiness and mine might be quite different, even as I struggle with whether I am humble enough to be a deacon-but Paul struggled with humility too, and he was an apostle-far more important than I ever want to be. Then there was the Gospel, and the part that struck me was Peter and the Lord's words to him in Luke 5:5-11:

“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets.” When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come to help them. They came and filled both boats so that the boats were in danger of sinking. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at the knees of Jesus and said, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” For astonishment at the catch of fish they had made seized him and all those with him, and likewise James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were partners of Simon. Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” When they brought their boats to the shore, they left everything and followed him.

In Peter's words I could hear myself saying that very thing to Jesus "depart from me, for I am a sinful man." I could also hear Jesus' words in reply back to me "do not be afraid..." That may have been the most important thing Jesus said to Peter...it might have been the most important thing I heard in the readings yesterday, something that the Lord knew I needed to hear.

I woke up this morning to the news that the Holy Father will resign, effective February 28th. Perhaps that is one of the many reasons why I needed to hear "be not afraid" yesterday, because today my first thought after hearing the news was "Lord, what are we going to do now?" Yes, I know the canonical procedure quite well, I know we'll have a conclave and a new Pope, and the Church will role on. It doesn't make the situation any easier for those of us who love and appreciate Pope Benedict XVI, but I am open to the reality that the Holy Spirit may be doing something new. The Holy Father has, I believe, acted under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and we should continue to pray that the Holy Spirit guides the Church through this time and that the College of Cardinals meets with the power of the Holy Spirit very active among them under the protection and intercession of Mary, Mother of the Church.


Finally, I have a request for those of you who are regular readers of this blog. As you may be able to see, I've placed a clock on the left hand sidebar of this blog. I'll have more to say about the clock and why it is there in a special entry I am composing for Ash Wednesday, but the clock used in the widget is not my first choice of a clock. There are a couple of other clock widgets I would prefer (one is from Clocklink), and I could insert one of them by incerting the HTML code in the proper place-but blogger has changed its HTML code since I have worked with it, and I can't figure out where in the code the sidebar is located! I need a hand with this. Feel free to e-mail me if you can be of assistance.

Reflection on the Baptism of the Lord

Luke 3:15-16, 21-22:

  The people were filled with expectation, and all were asking in their hearts whether John might be the Messiah. John answered them all, saying, “I am baptizing you with water, but one mightier than I is coming. I am not worthy to loosen the thongs of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire."

 After all the people had been baptized and Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, heaven was opened and the holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”






Recently, I had the special pleasure of writing a piece for the Diocese of Knoxville's 25th Anniversary Jubilee website on the triple meaning of the Feast of the Epiphany. I'll leave you to visit the site and read for yourself to find out more (the link is in the text above), but the short version was that the Feast of the Epiphany had originally celebrated three important manifestations of God and of Christ's divinity. One was the Incarnation and Nativity of Our Lord, one was the Baptism of the Lord, and one was the Wedding Feast at Cana, where Jesus performed his first miracle of changing water into wine. Many Eastern Christians believe that the Baptism of the Lord was the real beginning of Christ's passion, because it was the beginning of Jesus' public ministry, and it was from that point that the entire trajectory of Jesus' life began to move slowly toward the Cross. It may be with this reality in mind that the Church both ends the Christmas season on this feast and begins what we call Ordinary Time-the majority of the Church year where we are really celebrating the teachings of Jesus in our worship, just as we reflect on the unique mysteries of his life that we celebrate at Christmas, Lent, Holy Week, and Easter time. Note that this year, there are exactly 30 days of Ordinary Time before Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.


Jesus' baptism was both an example for us as well as the beginning of his ministry. As Catholic Christians, it is our belief that Jesus Christ is both fully human and fully divine-completely God and completely man. That's not a mystery that I can begin to explain with due justice, but I will say that I believe that like all of us, Jesus in his human nature received a call from God at some point in his life. Some folks think this was when he was 12 years old and told his parents when they ran back to Jerusalem looking for him and found him in the Temple: "Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (cf. Luke 2:49) There are also some people who think that the real beginning of his call happened on the day of his baptism when the Father's voice said "this is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased." (cf. Luke 3:22) That wouldn't be too different from the rest of us, because whether we were old enough to understand it or not, our call into the family of God began at our baptism. Since I was baptized as an adult, it wouldn't be unfair to say that if the Lord calls me to ordination, that that call-though known to God and intended by God before the foundation of the world-began when I first said yes to God, and when I asked the Church to baptize me. The call comes from God, but the choice to respond to that call rests with us-God is never going to force himself on us, because that would not be an act of love, and God is Love. We know that Jesus was tempted like us, but unlike us, he never sinned-he always chose the better part.


I have shared with you here in recent days that I have prayed and continue to pray that the Lord would give me a great increase in humility. I feel the call to the deaconate even stronger now than felt when I began formation, even as I understand that for me, this entire journey is one based on trust in God, because just as when I began formation, I know not what tomorrow shall bring. I learned that firsthand today. Nicole and I are experiencing some sudden car trouble. Thankfully, we'll be able to have the car fixed without much difficulty (it is an issue with the power steering), but it looks as though I may miss our deanery formation workshop as a result, since Saturday is the one day that we can take the car in to have the issue fixed that wouldn't wreak havoc on our regular daily schedule. When I first heard this, I was distraught-I have never missed a formation weekend or a workshop. I look forward to them with eagerness, and Nicole also expressed to me how disappointed she was that she wouldn't be able to attend-I miss my brother Aspirants when we are not learning together. As much as I was upset at this, nearly to the point of anger, I then stopped to reflect that I had been praying for an increase in humility, and that God often increases our humility through trials and sudden unforeseen difficulties, and I just felt led to say "thank you Lord." Even when things get rough, I have to learn to be thankful.

Human apprehension and reminders to trust and obey

As I posted on Saturday, I was truly given grace by this past weekend's formation class(es), and I thought that Father Michael Cummins showed us a living example of grace and humility in the spiritual life, an example to which we should all aspire, whether laity or clergy, aspirants, seminarians, or religious.


I did learn that later this week, those of us who are in the deaconate formation program will receive a list of potential assignments for summer service projects. A lot of these will be projects through Catholic Social Services, although we were told there would also be some other opportunities available. I had occasion yesterday to talk to one of my brother aspirants and we agreed that we are very eager to serve whoever, whatever, and however the Church might call us, since service is what the ministry of the deacon is about above all else...but as I shared with my brother in the Lord I am a little nervous for a very practical reason, and that is that whatever summer assignment I have must be something that is readily accessible to me. Since I don't drive, I have to rely on my wife very often to get me where I need to be in order to fulfill lots of responsibilities, and certainly church-related responsibilities that I have been called over the years to take on. Nicole is far from the only person who gives me this kind of assistance. As I have already written previously on this weblog, I could not attend deaconate formation with regularity in order to study with the required frequency of the formation process without the sincerely offered assistance of two of my Brother Aspirants, Steve Helmbrecht and Don Griffith. It is more than fair to say, however, that Nicole's help-usually behind the scenes and often without appearance or fanfare-has made my daily formation a reality. As a result, I do have a concern about how I will carry out my assignment, since Nicole can't do it all in terms of making sure that I can be everywhere I need to be-she also has a schedule and responsibilities of her own.

On the other hand, I must daily remind myself that whatever happens, absolutely none of this is about me, and the moment it becomes about me, it then becomes reasonable to question whether I am receiving a call from the Holy Spirit, or whether the call is of my own desire and volition. Were it to be the latter, I would not continue on my journey, since I believe the call to Holy Orders must come from the Holy Spirit, and that any desire on my own part to be ordained must exist because it is my desire to serve God and do his holy will.


So far, the Lord has provided for me as I have believed in faith that if being in formation and being ordained a deacon are truly God's will for my life, the Lord will continue to open doors as they are needed.

A New Year's reflection on communio

On this New Year's Day, I have cause to look back on the year just past and say that it has been an eventful one, but that I have been blessed and fortunate. Today is both a Holy Day of obligation (unless the bishop has prorogued it, in which case I am not aware-it is listed in my Ordo as a Holy Day of Obligation this year) and the first day of the calendar year 2013. Hence, it is a good day to give thanks for the year just past as well a to think on the year to come.


Nicole and I drank in the New Year last night with a couple of glasses of champagne. I not only told her I loved her but also told her, as well as reminded myself, how thankful I am for her. She certainly has a lot to put up with out of me, but she has also been the one person I can go to more than anyone else to talk about my formation experience, talk about what I am feeling, how I see my call from the Holy Spirit and to talk about the things of God or ecclesiastical affairs as they might pertain to our formation or to the ministry I am called to carry out-now as an Aspirant, and (if the Lord is willing) in the future in the deaconate. Nicole has not been able to be at a formation weekend yet because her schedule really won't allow for that (we raise goats, and Nicole has horses...spring and summer is milking season, winter means the horses have no grass, and Nicole has to take hay to them on the weekends), but because I don't drive, when I have had to be at a deanery workshop or a church meeting, Nicole often makes time not only to take me, but to attend and participate herself. Indeed, it seems that the deanery workshops in our deanery, with our small group of three Aspirants and three wives, are known to be well-participated...all of our wives attend and pray with us at each workshop (and God knows we also eat well at these gatherings!). Nicole also prays with me every day-in fact, if I have prayed Vespers before she has an opportunity to join me, she becomes visibly irritated!


Truthfully, I could not move forward in formation or fulfill the Lord's plan for my vocation, whatever that might be, without Nicole's help and support. Bluntly put, it would be impossible for me to actively pursue formation to the permanent deaconate without her very active assistance. Sometimes that assistance may not appear openly to others, but it is always there. No one has helped me in the way that she has.

Secondly, but nearly as important, I never cease to be amazed at the support and encouragement I receive from my brother Aspirants. My classmates are a constant help to me, even though some of them may not realize it-I can feel their prayers. Furthermore, there are a number of them who have gone out of their way to insure that I can participate actively and get the most out of the theological education and spiritual formation that I am blessed to be receiving. If it weren't for Steve Helmbrecht and Don Griffith, who are my fellow classmates in our deanery, I wouldn't be able to make mandatory formation weekends, let alone be able to truly be spiritually and theologically formed. It is no exaggeration to say that doing this would be impossible without them, and that I have come to rely on them (Steve is at my house at 4:00 pm on formation Fridays like clockwork). Both of them were sent by the Lord to make my formation possible-I truly believe this. How I would make formation regularly was a real concern for Deacon Tim Elliott, our diocesan Director of Deacons-it was a concern for me too...but I told him that I believed that if it is truly God's will for me to be in formation for the deaconate, God would provide for me a way, and thus far through Steve and Don and their wonderful wives, he has done so.


I cannot stress enough the level of friendship and camaraderie that one feels with one's classmates in the process of formation. The Church calls this fellowship communio, and I've come to see how important it is when you are receiving the call of the Holy Spirit to devote your life to the Lord's work not only that you have this kind of relationship with your brothers, but that it be maintained. I also understand now-even more than I have before up to this point-what Deacon Bob Smearing meant when he told me that I would be amazed at just how close I became to my brothers in formation.


The kindness and consideration of my brothers does not cease to amaze me, whether it is that extra hand, or offer of help getting to my room after keeping vigil with some of them, or that word of prayer or touch of concern if something doesn't seem quite right. The front row regulars all now know how I take my coffee. Scott Maentz, whose blog is on my sidebar, not only ministers to all of us through his digital notes and audio recordings of our classes (which have saved me on more than one occasion), but  surprised me with a Christmas gift of Logos Verbum Bible Software. Scott has recommended this software to the other men for some time-now I see why. The digital library of more than 20 Bible translations and Catholic Bible commentaries, Greek dictionaries, concordances, maps, Ante-Nicene and Post-Nicene Church Fathers, conciliar documents, catechisms (including the Catechism of the Catholic Church), writings of saints, historical resources, encyclicals, and papal documents spanning centuries would cost thousands of dollars in print form. Since literally everything is cross-linked and cross-referenced, a resource like this is invaluable not just for future class research, but has all that is needed for years worth of biblical and ecclesiastical study, teaching, homily writing, and preaching. If Logos stays in business (meaning that I'll continue to be able to download the updates as they come in), I may never have to buy another Bible commentary again, because if some new important item comes out, Logos will probably add it to their basic collection.


I wasn't expecting Scott's incredible gift, so I was truly humbled that one of my brothers would think of me in this way-and yes, so far I recommend the software too, and I think it is a whole lot cheaper than the money you'll spend building a similar print library.


The year 2012 was a trying year, but we were blessed in so many ways-I am praying that the Lord continues to bless me, undeserving servant that I am, in continued discernment. Thank you, people who have been praying for me...I have felt your prayers every day/