The paper questions

As it has been said so effectively by others, being a permanent deacon in the Church is a vocation, a calling sent to a man by the Holy Spirit. It is up to each of us who are discerning our call to answer the Lord when He calls us, but once we do that, we assume the responsibilities associated with formation, and one of the principle responsibilities is the academic side of things-we have to write a lot of papers. I can't speak for what my Brother Aspirants were all told beforehand, but I didn't go into this part of the process blind-I was told that a certain academic rigor would be required of Aspirants before I ever began the discernment process, and that a lot of it would involve some serious paper-writing.

Nonetheless, it had been nearly a decade since I wrote an academic paper when I began formation. Since, if my calculations and memory serve me correctly, I am the youngest Aspirant who is currently in the deaconate formation class in the Diocese, I am also certain that there are a few men in the class for whom it has been even longer since they put pen to paper for an academic essay. A lot of people might think it easier for me, since I have quite a lot of writing experience. It is one thing to write when you have a great deal of control over your content, but it is quite another to do so when you must write academically about material you've read or been lectured on. Our papers have not been lengthy (which is a good thing, as we must engage in our studies while carrying on our daily lives as well), but the relative brevity which has been the hallmark of some of our early papers has left me asking the questions that I know some of my confreres are also asking...

"Did I write enough information?"

"Darn, I left <this> or <that> out, I wonder if I should have put <that> in the paper?"

"Did I write too much? Father said he only wanted a summary...I hope I put in what was right and left out what he would have expected me to leave out."

"I wonder if Father understood what I meant? I hope I phrased it right..."

These are just a few of the things that can go through one's head...each of our instructors are different and their standards are different, as is the subject matter. We do have an idea of what is expected of us, but I have found that sometimes, wisdom is best gleaned in the school of prayer-and that is how I have tried to approach having to write papers again.