The worthy sacrifices of vocation

Allow me again to apologize for the dearth of postings in this space in the previous weeks. Ideally, I'd love to be able to post two or three times per week here, to give those of you who might be inclined to read a better idea of how the formation process is going. I have a paper that will be due at some point next month, and the topic that I have chosen is the development of Trinitarian Doctrine. As of yet, I have not started the paper, and those of you who know me know that to be more than a bit unusual, normally I begin assignments immediately, so as not to give in to the temptation to procrastinate. Part of this is due to the fact that I didn't get approval from our instructor, Robert Feduccia, for my topic until this past Sunday. Lest anyone think I am blaming Robert for that, I certainly am not-I suspect he has some of the same issues with schedule and time that the rest of us do. He came all the way from Oregon just to teach us, and I am very grateful for that indeed. I was given a perspective on the Trinity that changed forever the way I will view the God we serve, and will certainly increase my devotion to the Most Holy Trinity.

Just this past week, I had a dear friend from my own parish tell me that despite having a deep interest in the deaconate, he didn't go through with the application process because he came to the conclusion that there is no way that between his work schedule and his family commitments that he felt that he could take on the responsibilities that are required of him. This saddened me because I know how committed this person is to the Church and to our parish-indeed in my own mind, this person does more physical work for the parish than I could ever do. However, I have also learned through the experience of formation that time is at a premium. Just because I am in formation does not mean that my secular life can just grind to a halt-this is one of the great tests of formation and one of the ironies (if you will) of the deaconate. You might have seen me write of my administrative responsibilities at the fire department before. It is appropriations time, and I am on a time crunch deadline to complete that process by the end of next week before I leave for our formation weekend (forms and budget are due in Monday morning Feb. 6th, and formation is next weekend). I would love to take about four days away from the office next week to devote to research for our paper and prayer. The Fire Chief knows I am in formation (although like most people in these parts, he isn't Catholic so what the process involves is not something he or most other folks here would be familiar with) and if I tell him "I will be away for a day or two while I work on deacon things," he normally doesn't care-he knows that I take care of things in the office. This is a time, however, when he can't spare me as much, and I need his help as well. As a result, I need to meet with him regularly during a week like this one to make sure our fiscal ducks are in a row. Nevertheless, the ability to balance Church and spiritual life and one's secular responsibilities is a critical part of the deaconate-deacons live Holy Orders in the secular world.

                                        St. Lawrence the Deacon

I had my first meeting with my Spiritual Director this weekend. I know you'll understand that I'm going to keep much of what we discuss between us, but I took note of the commonality between us when it comes to two things-a very tight schedule, and a keen interest in the sporting world. I took many things away from our first discussion at length, but I also came away feeling blessed. I may never again complain about being pressed for time, for my spiritual director is a man who, frankly, has no time but somehow manages to be a deacon who is a model for the diocese, and for the rest of us, and for me.

Pray for all of us in formation-Lord knows, we need it.