Beware of foot-in-mouth disease

Over the weekend I managed to greatly offend and even hurt someone that I never intended to offend at all. I did so by recalling something that happened several years ago as what I thought would be a light-hearted and funny joke-a moment of levity. I didn't even necessarily think the original incident (as I remember it) was a bad thing at all. I remembered it as somewhat ironic and, yes, a bit funny-at least to me.

Well, as it turned out, the person to whom I addressed what I thought was a piece of old humor had different memories of the day in question (hence, my decision not to argue the point about what actually happened-I quickly made the call not to wake further sleeping dogs that may lay by the rivers of time), and was obviously greatly bothered by what I had said.

As is often the case when I screw up, it was Nicole who called my attention to the offense that I had created, and I might not have ever known had she not done so. I apologized to the person who I had so deeply offended, but I felt absolutely awful about it, and I take the blame entirely for what happened. I still feel terribly about it, but I also know that-short of the invention of time machines-I can't undo what I had done to begin with, I can only seek forgiveness for it. I am confident in the Lord's forgiveness, as I always am, but I also pray that the person who I hurt-whatever my intentions might have been at the time-will find it in their heart to forgive me.

Nicole pointed out to me: "I know you, and I know you were joking, and I understand your sense of humor [I appreciate irony and often find humor and see irony in things that others may not, a trait my wife appreciates], but [the person in question] does not. You have to apologize, you came across in a way you never intended, and the words were yours."

She was right, of course, and I knew it...

The whole incident caused me to once again take a very deep lesson in humility. It also reminded me of the words accredited to Solomon in Proverbs 23:21:

Those who guard mouth and tongue guard themselves from trouble.

I did not, as the writer would say, guard myself from trouble. I will not only let this serve as a kind of divine warning to me, but let it be a lesson to my brother Aspirants and all who are discerning a vocation: The world is watching us, and they see our successes and they mark our shortcomings. Our lips can serve to bless others, but also to harm them without intent...we all have to be careful, and like St. Paul, I will count myself as chief among sinners, especially in this regard.