Sede vacante

Benedict XVI is now the Supreme Pontiff Emeritus. I just watched the closing of the doors and the changing of the guard at Castel Gandolfo as the clock struck eight in Rome. It is certainly a day of what I would call mixed emotions. I know he's "Pope Emeritus," I know that the College of Cardinals will elect a new Pontiff regnant, I know that this person will be the Vicar of Christ, and I know and believe that Holy Mother Church will go on and on. It is hard, however, not to call Benedict Holy Father. Maybe I'll just call him "Holy Father Benedict" or just "Papa Bene." I don't want to speak of Benedict in a way that appears to diminish the respect we all need to have for the new Holy Father, especially since Benedict already pledged his loyalty and support to that as-yet unnamed man earlier today.

Despite the personal feelings I might have with regard to Benedict's decision and today's events, it has become increasingly clear to me in recent days that what is happening is the Lord's will. This past Sunday, Papa Emeritus said that he felt that the Gospel passage on the Transfiguration was aimed directly at him, and he has talked this week about how he had asked the Lord to help him lighten his physical load. When I heard Holy Father Benedict speak of this, I could certainly identify in a very personal way with what he was saying. I am not sure what the nature of his conversation with God was like, but I believe that the Holy Spirit let him know that he has done all that has been required of him, and it was time for a new Supreme Pontiff.

Benedict has said that it is time for him to "climb the mountain" and be with God in a more intimate way in prayer more fully, as he able to devote the remainder of his earthly life to contemplation and prayer. I must admit to a kind of "holy envy" of this new status of Benedict, if there can possibly be such a thing. There are many times when I feel that my prayer time isn't quite good enough and I just want to  "climb the mountain" and spend a lot more time with God. However, I have responsibilities-and ministry-which keeps me from the fullness of such a contemplative life at this point (not to mention a wonderful wife who expects I will be around a good long time!). The Holy Spirit did not call me to a full time contemplative life, and I trust the Holy Spirit's wisdom in that regard, but there are times when I wish I had more time each day for a far more contemplative and prayer-filled existence. Yes, I pray every day...I want to pray even more, and I want to enter the presence of God in prayer even more-even as I grow close to him, I long to be even closer. Hence, for this reason I have a certain envy, because now Benedict will have all the time in the world to grow closer to Christ and to the Father before he leaves this passing world.

But the Lord also extracted from Joseph Ratzinger a very full life of service to his Church and his Kingdom before calling him to this new ministry of prayer, and I also remind myself of that, even as I pray for our Pontiff Emeritus, and for the Church in the days ahead.

Bless us one last time, Holy Father Benedict!

A thank you for Benedict and a prayer for the conclave

Do you remember when you heard the news that Benedict XVI had been elected?





I was actually watching everything streaming over the internet on EWTN at the time. I remember feeling a sense of great joy when it was clear that the smoke was white and there would be a new pope. I was relieved that the conclave had been so short, because I thought a long conclave might lead to the secular media having a speculation field day in ways that go beyond the normal. I was then, as I am now, ready to embrace whoever was ultimately chosen, but I did have a favorite at the time-someone who I felt led by the Holy Spirit to pray for especially. His name was Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, and he was the prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. I was praying specifically for him-I had a feeling in the depth of my soul that he should be pope and that he would be pope.

When his name was announced I was ecstatic-I did not know whether to laugh or shout or cry with glee. I understood beyond the shadow of any doubt in my mind that God's will had been done that day, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit about the whole business, even though I was watching on a computer screen thousands of miles away from Rome. I still believe that today-Benedict has been a wonderful shepherd.

When I heard the news that he would abdicate the Chair of Peter this Thursday early in the morning on Monday, February 11th, I had the inevitable reaction of shock, sadness, and a degree of disappointment. I love the Holy Father. I love his writings, and I have a deep appreciation for what his work has meant for the Church over many, many years of faithful service. His theological opus has reached people of all faiths and has won many converts to the Church, most of whom never met him. Then I listened to and read his statement, and the words he has spoken about his decision since that day, and I believe that as the Holy Spirit brought him to the See of Peter, the Holy Spirit has let him know that the time is right for another to take his place.

This time around, there are two or three of the cardinals who I think might make a fine Pontiff, but now it is purely a matter of personal opinion on my part. I don't have the strong feeling and the leading from the Holy Spirit that I felt preceding the last conclave that one of the men ought to and would likely be elected, and Cardinal N. is that person-now I simply feel a need to pray for all of the cardinal-electors with some fervor.

One thing that seems to be occurring at a very unhealthy level is that there seems to be more media pressure and speculation than there was last time and-if some Catholic sources are to be believed-perhaps more than has ever been. The amount of speculative media frenzy has become so ridiculous that even the Vatican has openly condemned it as disgraceful. We are all entitled as Catholics to our own opinions of who we might like to see elected or not (that is human nature to a degree), but we all have to respect that not only is the conclave to be kept secret (and should forever be), but it is to be kept secret in order to preserve the integrity and the legitimacy of the papal election itself. Furthermore, whoever is elected deserves our respect, affection, support, and will have great need of our prayers.

As for Holy Father Benedict, I am thankful for his ministry, and I believe the Church and the cause of the Gospel are better served today because Joseph Ratzinger devoted his life to the service of the Church and we have been blessed to have him in the Chair of St. Peter. Let us pray for him as he prays for us.

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Let us also pray for the Cardinals who will vote in this upcoming conclave. I have a little prayer I came up with for them-it isn't much, just the thoughts of my heart, and I invite you to pray with me or to pray a prayer for them from your own heart.

Almighty Ever-living God, may your guiding hand and the power of your holy presence be among the Cardinal-electors, as they gather at the threshold of the Holy Apostles Peter and Paul to choose a new successor to fill the shoes of the Fisherman. May they be so disposed to choose a man after your own heart, who delights in your laws and meditates upon you day and night. 

Through the intercession of Mary, Mother of God and Mother of the Church, may he pilot the barque of your Church through the stormy spiritual seas of our skeptical age, that we may reach in triumph the glory of your everlasting Kingdom.

We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ your Son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever. Amen.

Self-denial and solidarity in a place of abundance.

As part of our Lenten discipline, Nicole and I began a new diet on Ash Wednesday, something that we both know lots of people do for Lent. However, this plan is different in that it doesn't require us to starve (i.e. when I eat, I feel like I have eaten), but it does require us to eat better food, and by that I don't mean light this or fat free that, I mean better quality food. We're in the first phases now, which means that some things I'll be able to integrate into my diet later I can't yet have, even though if we keep to the plan after Lent (and we're going to) some of those things will be allowed again. The basic principle of the plan (there are variants and some are stricter than others) is that if something is a natural food, you may either eat it or you will be able to eat it eventually, but if something has been refined or processed in an unnatural way, or if it has had unnatural colors or preservatives added to it, it is forbidden. This requires some skill at label-reading and knowing what strange sounding ingredients are really some acceptable natural derivative and which are something artificial and forbidden.


Leading up to Lent, we eased our way into the plan by occasionally eating meals filled with foods that either would be allowed on the diet in the initial phases, or would be eventually allowed. (Refined sugar is totally prohibited at any time, so those of you who know of my love for cookies, I beg of you not to tempt me with them, especially since I have done well to avoid sugar thus far). We also went on a couple of good shopping trips to make sure that our fridge and pantry is filled with good food that we can eat. There isn't anything special about most of this food, but it is natural food. The biggest obvious "newfangled" foods we have to buy are salts that are rich in minerals (and thus have color), as opposed to the refined table salt we are all used to. This experience has led me to what may be a new kind of solidarity with the poor, and not because of food deprivation as you might expect.


Preparing our pantry and home as we need to in order that we might eat right and eat well is not an easy task, but it isn't because the foods we need are not available-they are. Rather, it is because good food is expensive. We have seen a marked increase in our grocery bill, and were it not for the fact that we raise goats and chickens and have access to clean meat and will have fresh milk (from which to make our own cheese, yogurt, and even sometimes butter) in the middle spring, I don't know if we could even afford to do this the way it should be done. America is one of the few countries in the world where obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and related illnesses are especially problems among the very poor, and that is especially the case in Appalachia. Many of our poor are well-fed, but they are truly malnourished. It has struck me during the process of preparing for this new lifestyle change that a big reason for that may be that the food that is the cheapest, that which the very poor can afford may fill their bellies in this country, but that food is killing them-filled as it is with additives, preservatives, and artificial things to make it "go further," so that it is cheaper to make and process and can yield the most profit, and cheaper for the consumer to afford.

We truly live in a land of great plenty and abundance, and as such it seems so wrong that the worst food that can be consumed is often the cheapest, meaning that those without means who are just trying to get by will be inclined to eat what they can most afford, rather than the best quality food which is more expensive. The poor aren't the only ones with that problem of course, since a lot of us have bought things to eat without really knowing what is in them. However, what I think to be most disturbing is the amount of good quality nutritious food that is thrown away in our country every day. I'm not talking about the leftovers we might leave on our dinner plates, I'm talking about the perfectly edible food that grocery stores, restaurants, food service providers, and other entities throw away every day, and they do this while there are people who can barely find the money to buy food, and while there are children in America who go to bed hungry.


In no way to I propose that we should regulate food prices in law-the Soviet Union tried that and it was a bitter failure, and our farmers and ranchers are entitled to make a good living for the hard work of their hands. What I have come to believe is that we have perverted the free-market system by divorcing it from the underlying principles of Christianity that built Western culture and ultimately insured that freedom of agriculture and commerce. We have become a society where the making of profit or the having of things is more important than the keeping of morals or the protection of principle, and that extends to all aspects of our daily life-including how we feed ourselves and feed the poor.


Jesus said "I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me...Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink?'...And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’" (cf. Matt. 25:35-40)

A brief reflection on...reflection

As you may have noticed, I have removed the clock in the left sidebar-at least for now. I have done this in part after reflecting for awhile on the words of a commenter to this blog that they felt distracted by the presence of the clock and the words above it-"Time Is Short." This person said that they loved this site, but that they come here for the "warmth and security" of the Lord's presence that they feel when they are here. I am truly humbled that there are those of you who see this blog as a place of reflection, and I want to be as good a pastoral influence as I can-no one who truly loves the Church as I do wants to lead people away from the things of God.

I still haven't given up the idea of a clock somewhere on the blog at some point in the future, however, but If one does return, I'd like it to look something like the clock on Father Martin Fox's blog. I think Father Martin still utilizes blogger's old HTML coding, which made it relatively easy to put a clock or anything else anywhere you wanted if you knew anything about the code-I'd love to find a more unobtrusive place if possible. However, this blog is one of Blogger's newer designs, and to be honest-I can't figure out the coding on it! I initially decided to try a widget that I could easily "figure out." Clearly, this may have been "easy" for me, but perhaps it resulted in a lack of good pastoral judgment on my part. If I may shamelessly quote the Holy Father, I beg you to please "forgive my defects."


Since some of you are using your visits here as a time to read and have spiritual reflection (something for which I am most unworthy compared to some others), I thought I might share a hymn with you for your prayer and meditation. If you are one of the few who have read this blog from the beginning you might recall that I posted a tribute on All Saints of 2011 to the late Father Chris Rohmiller, who helped guide me into the Church years ago. As I said in that post, Father Chris introduced me to a great many things that continue to inform my spirituality today, and a few things that filled my stomach that probably shouldn't have, like the fettuccine at Mamma DiSalvo's and at Giovanni's. Good for the soul if not for the bodily health!


One of the things Father Chris introduced me to in the time that he was a part of my spiritual life was the music of the Taize Community, which I still love today. This is my favorite Taize prayer hymn-"In the Lord I'll Be Ever Thankful."

Ash Wednesday

Today we will hear those words "Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return." They are the words God said to Adam and Eve when they were expelled from the Garden of Eden. When all that he had was so suddenly taken from him, Job said "naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (cf. Job 1:20)

The beginning of 2013 has certainly been a rocky start for Nicole and myself. We experienced some unexpected car trouble that kept me away from a formation workshop-the first such formation-related event I have ever missed, and I hope the last. We then experienced a series of unexpected minor calamities, none of which would be a very big deal by themselves, but which, happening all at once, had the effect of depleting the bank account unexpectedly. Then my grandmother passed away, although we knew it was coming. At the end of this past week, a cousin of Nicole's had his life brought to an end at a youthful age. Last night at RCIA, I learned that not only was a dear friend who is part of our RCIA team having chest pains, but that he was told by his doctor to go immediately to hospital.  The early weeks of this Year of Our Lord 2013 have shown us how fragile and delicate our lives are.

We are blessed to serve a God of second chances, and Lent is all about second chances. It is a season of conversion and repentance and penance on the one hand, and renewal and refreshment and new life (as we know we move toward Easter and the Lord's Resurrection). However, Lent is also a reminder to us that taking advantage of God's mercy is our choice, and we only have one life to do it in.  That, coincidentally, is why you see the clock on the left sidebar of this blog. Yes, you will be able to tell the time by . More importantly, however, it is my hope that it will serve as a reminder that God's me for us in this world is finite-each of us has one life to do our part for the Kingdom of God.

Some will hear the words today "turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel." We are called to a life of fidelity to God, and today is a reminder that no matter what we might have done, Christ is ready to receive us in love all over again.

Be not afraid

Yesterday was one of those days when I needed the readings that were presented, and I believe the Holy Spirit spoke to me through them in a special way. As you might have figured out by reading my posts, there have times when I have struggled with my own worthiness to be in formation. I have questioned, as I am sure many men have on the road to the deaconate, my own worthiness to be there. There are times when I have thought "I am not as holy as others, Lord, why choose me," or even (in honesty) "I am a cripple, Lord, what can I do to minister to others in your name that brings the Church to them." I have struggled with this at times with a full understanding that no small part of this comes from the devil, who delights at bringing discouragement to us. Even knowing that, however, it helps to be reminded that God's ways are not our ways, and that he doesn't work in the same way that we do, not even remotely-though he often uses human agents to do his work.

I thought of those times I have been discouraged about my own ministry when I heard the readings yesterday, and the thought of God's goodness overwhelmed me nearly to the point of tears as I listened to the vision of the Prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 6:6-8:

Then I said, “Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” Then one of the seraphim flew to me, holding an ember that he had taken with tongs from the altar. He touched my mouth with it, and said, “See, now that this has touched your lips, your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.” Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” “Here I am,” I said; “send me!”

The real a-ha moment came in the second reading, when St. Paul described his own unworthiness to exercise his special calling as an apostle when, unlike the other apostles, he didn't walk and talk with the Lord when he was personally present, and he persecuted the Church in his zeal, but he told the Corinthians in 1st Corinthians 15:8-11 that God put him in his office entirely because of his mercy and grace:

Last of all, as to one born abnormally, he appeared to me. For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective. Indeed, I have toiled harder than all of them; not I, however, but the grace of God that is with me. Therefore, whether it be I or they, so we preach and so you believed.

At this point, I felt like the Lord was hitting me over the head with a proverbial frying pan, as if to say: "Is this clear enough for you?" He was telling me that his concept of worthiness and mine might be quite different, even as I struggle with whether I am humble enough to be a deacon-but Paul struggled with humility too, and he was an apostle-far more important than I ever want to be. Then there was the Gospel, and the part that struck me was Peter and the Lord's words to him in Luke 5:5-11:

“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets.” When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come to help them. They came and filled both boats so that the boats were in danger of sinking. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at the knees of Jesus and said, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” For astonishment at the catch of fish they had made seized him and all those with him, and likewise James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were partners of Simon. Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” When they brought their boats to the shore, they left everything and followed him.

In Peter's words I could hear myself saying that very thing to Jesus "depart from me, for I am a sinful man." I could also hear Jesus' words in reply back to me "do not be afraid..." That may have been the most important thing Jesus said to Peter...it might have been the most important thing I heard in the readings yesterday, something that the Lord knew I needed to hear.

I woke up this morning to the news that the Holy Father will resign, effective February 28th. Perhaps that is one of the many reasons why I needed to hear "be not afraid" yesterday, because today my first thought after hearing the news was "Lord, what are we going to do now?" Yes, I know the canonical procedure quite well, I know we'll have a conclave and a new Pope, and the Church will role on. It doesn't make the situation any easier for those of us who love and appreciate Pope Benedict XVI, but I am open to the reality that the Holy Spirit may be doing something new. The Holy Father has, I believe, acted under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and we should continue to pray that the Holy Spirit guides the Church through this time and that the College of Cardinals meets with the power of the Holy Spirit very active among them under the protection and intercession of Mary, Mother of the Church.


Finally, I have a request for those of you who are regular readers of this blog. As you may be able to see, I've placed a clock on the left hand sidebar of this blog. I'll have more to say about the clock and why it is there in a special entry I am composing for Ash Wednesday, but the clock used in the widget is not my first choice of a clock. There are a couple of other clock widgets I would prefer (one is from Clocklink), and I could insert one of them by incerting the HTML code in the proper place-but blogger has changed its HTML code since I have worked with it, and I can't figure out where in the code the sidebar is located! I need a hand with this. Feel free to e-mail me if you can be of assistance.