Benedict XVI is now the Supreme Pontiff Emeritus. I just watched the closing of the doors and the changing of the guard at Castel Gandolfo as the clock struck eight in Rome. It is certainly a day of what I would call mixed emotions. I know he's "Pope Emeritus," I know that the College of Cardinals will elect a new Pontiff regnant, I know that this person will be the Vicar of Christ, and I know and believe that Holy Mother Church will go on and on. It is hard, however, not to call Benedict Holy Father. Maybe I'll just call him "Holy Father Benedict" or just "Papa Bene." I don't want to speak of Benedict in a way that appears to diminish the respect we all need to have for the new Holy Father, especially since Benedict already pledged his loyalty and support to that as-yet unnamed man earlier today.
Despite the personal feelings I might have with regard to Benedict's decision and today's events, it has become increasingly clear to me in recent days that what is happening is the Lord's will. This past Sunday, Papa Emeritus said that he felt that the Gospel passage on the Transfiguration was aimed directly at him, and he has talked this week about how he had asked the Lord to help him lighten his physical load. When I heard Holy Father Benedict speak of this, I could certainly identify in a very personal way with what he was saying. I am not sure what the nature of his conversation with God was like, but I believe that the Holy Spirit let him know that he has done all that has been required of him, and it was time for a new Supreme Pontiff.
Benedict has said that it is time for him to "climb the mountain" and be with God in a more intimate way in prayer more fully, as he able to devote the remainder of his earthly life to contemplation and prayer. I must admit to a kind of "holy envy" of this new status of Benedict, if there can possibly be such a thing. There are many times when I feel that my prayer time isn't quite good enough and I just want to "climb the mountain" and spend a lot more time with God. However, I have responsibilities-and ministry-which keeps me from the fullness of such a contemplative life at this point (not to mention a wonderful wife who expects I will be around a good long time!). The Holy Spirit did not call me to a full time contemplative life, and I trust the Holy Spirit's wisdom in that regard, but there are times when I wish I had more time each day for a far more contemplative and prayer-filled existence. Yes, I pray every day...I want to pray even more, and I want to enter the presence of God in prayer even more-even as I grow close to him, I long to be even closer. Hence, for this reason I have a certain envy, because now Benedict will have all the time in the world to grow closer to Christ and to the Father before he leaves this passing world.
But the Lord also extracted from Joseph Ratzinger a very full life of service to his Church and his Kingdom before calling him to this new ministry of prayer, and I also remind myself of that, even as I pray for our Pontiff Emeritus, and for the Church in the days ahead.
Bless us one last time, Holy Father Benedict!
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