Today is the last day of Ordinary Time, and Advent (and a new Year of Grace, the Church Year 2013) begins tonight at Vespers. This has been a busy year of change and reflection for both Nicole and myself. My studies in the permanent deaconate program for the Diocese of Knoxville are moving along, and I continue to pray and discern-and I continue to believe that the Holy Spirit is calling me to continued discernment. As time passes, I believe that the Lord is calling me to the deaconate. What I have yet to discern or discover is just what my ministry will be if-by God's grace and favor-the Church does call my name on ordination day. I'm sure I'll minister at the altar, and I am sure that the pastor I serve under-whether my current one or another-might even turn me loose to preach from time to time. I hope that if that does happen, my preaching might bring both blessing and conviction to those who need those things-that I would be able in preaching to "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."
But the deaconate is not about-to quote our diocese's Assistant Director of Deacons "about being up at the altar and dressing up like the Infant of Prague." Sure, the ministry of the altar and the ministry of preaching and teaching that is a part of that is an extremely important part of being a deacon, but that isn't a deacon's exclusive function. Deacons were established initially both to proclaim the word as a prophetic function, but more importantly to care for widows, orphans, the very poor among the community (cf. Acts 6:1-8). I'm not sure what my ministry may be in the future if I am ordained, but my spiritual director has also told me not to worry so much about that-he said that there have been times in his priesthood when he didn't know what his ministry would be-it should be left ultimately to the Holy Spirit.
That is how I have come to see my ministry. In whatever way and in whatever capacity God calls me to service, even if it seems small and insignificant, then if one soul is impacted with the Gospel as a result-and not even directly by me-then all of the obstacles and hardships and trials and questions of the discernment and formation process will have been worth it.
Every day I pray that God will give me the grace I need to abandon myself completely into His hands, and to die more fully to self. When I think I am making progress in that department, I will say or do something that reminds me that I still have a long way to go...that I'm not yet where God wants me to be, but I'm willing to be, and that if I let him take hold of me more completely, he'll get me there.
This Advent, I make anew a prayer of total abandonment to God-that as Christ abandoned his very Glory to become one of us, I might abandon my own desires in order that God's purposes might be achieved, and his Name and His Church be glorified afresh in me.
Reflections of a Deacon in the Diocese of Knoxville in Tennessee. The opinions expressed here are my own, but the Glory is the Lord's
This is so beautiful, the idea of approaching advent with a spirit of abandonment to the leading of the Holy Spirit!
ReplyDeleteIt is especially meaningful that you are already considering the importance of your ministry through preaching which you will have, as a deacon. I had to laugh at your idea that you are being called to "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."
All joking aside, I sometimes wonder if our deacons, and even some of our priests, truly understand how very important the homily is.
It is not a time to get up and brag about one's children, as one deacon used to do, even when there was no point to be made by talking about them. It most definitely is not a time to just reminisce, as one local deacon seems to think is the purpose of his time in front of hundreds of needy souls, who sit in utter frustration at his insensitivity to their deep spiritual needs, needing to be met, or at least acknowledged, in the homily.
I wish each priest and deacon wouuld approach the homily, asking himself, "What are the spiritual needs of these people, at the present time?" I wish they would ask God to help them to do their utmost to touch the lives of the people listening.
If nothing else, if they would only think of the many mature adults there who have no one to love them - if they could just express some understanding and remind them of how very much God loves them, or even how much the deacon or the priest loves them!
So many people have had people they loved to die - there is always a need to comfort people who have lost someone in death.
There are so many parents at Mass, who worry about their children - could we please hear a few words which express that you understand and which suggest that each parent entrust the care of each child to our Lord in prayer, daily.
So many adults and young people are seeking direction in their lives - the homily is for providing spiritual direction for everyone there! People need to be taught to seek the Lord's will for each hour of each day of their lives. This is so incredibly important!
Many in the congregation may look just fine but be dealing with serious illness, in themselves, or in loved ones. Let's hear someone talk about that and offer us some emotional support on that. We need help in keeping the faith while we are living with pain and suffering!
Please, please understand what a great calling it is to be asked to go before a group of the faithful, or any group, and to speak to them, on behalf of our Lord. I pray that you will always remember this, and I hope to get around to hear you preach, one of these days...
The homilist is to say what the Lord Jesus would say, if He were preaching on that particular Sunday morning. If we do not know the words to say, He will give us the words to say, if we ask, sincerely and pray deeply...
Please know, Mr. Oatney, that there are people out here who are already looking forward to the good we believe you will do, once you are ordained a deacon. We are praying for you and will continue to pray for you. Please remember, we must not let anything stand in the way of doing God's will for us.