Personal God, Personal Relationship (Bulletin Column 7/4/2021)

 

As we celebrate the 245th birthday of our country this weekend, I also want to personally welcome Father Jim Harvey to our Holy Trinity family. I know that you will all join me in praying for a joyful and fruitful pastoral Ministry for Father Jim here with us. Be sure and take the time to make him feel welcome, and let him put some names with some faces as we walk together on this journey to the fullness of the Faith and the Kingdom of God.

One of the things we are often asked by many of our evangelical friends and neighbors is whether we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This isn't necessarily the best theological language, and it's important to remember that the phrase doesn't appear anywhere in Sacred Scripture, yet it does convey an important truth. We believe in and serve a personal God, and that God sent his Son, the Second Person of the Trinity, into the world to really live among us and to give his life as a ransom for us, so that we might be forgiven of our sins. Jesus loves us so perfectly and so completely that there is no way that we will ever be able to describe how deeply that he loves us. The God who loves us so much that he sent his son- both God and Man - to die for us created us out of love and he wants for us to love him in return for the good of our own souls. Jesus Christ "emptied himself and took the form of a slave" (cf. Philippians 2:7), and that means that we can enter into a personal relationship with Him, a relationship that He wants for us to have.

Perhaps the most obvious and critical way to do this is through our prayer life. The Lord knows everything, so he understands how busy our schedules are. He knows that we won't always meet our personal prayer goals, but the purpose of prayer is to build our relationship with God in the most personal way we can, by talking to Him just as we would a friend. If you aren't coming to Eucharistic adoration or Benediction once a month, set aside an hour of your time on a Saturday for Jesus, or come to Mass a few minutes early for Benediction on the first Saturday of the month and share prayer with your fellow parishioners. 

Are you taking the time for a daily Rosary? There's no better way to get to know the Lord than through his Mother. If your daily grind makes it difficult for you to pray the Rosary in the ordinary way, Bishop Robert Barron has led a wonderful Rosary with meditations on the mysteries of the Lord's life, and you can find it on YouTube by simply searching "Bishop Barron Rosary." Perhaps you are ready to enhance your prayer life by including the Prayer of the Church, the Liturgy of the Hours, in your daily way of talking to Our Lord. If you'd like to learn more about the Liturgy of the Hours, feel free to email or call me or any of the other deacons (and Father Jim I'm sure), and we will be happy to get you started. The internet makes the process easier than it has ever been before. With Father's permission, I might even be willing to lead a public celebration of the Liturgy of the Hours in the parish again; we have done it a couple of times before. However you might be working to better your prayer life, know that the Lord loves you and He wants to hear from you, He looks forward to it every day.

Another way that we can deepen our relationship with Jesus Christ is by being Christ to others. A few weeks ago, I shared with you how wonderful it was to again see so many of your smiling faces. The pews are beginning to look full on Sundays, and things are slowly getting back to normal in our Parish life   Over the last several weeks, I think the hospitality for which our parish is well known has been on full display for everyone to see. Nevertheless, there are some parishioners who still have not felt comfortable rejoining us in community for the Eucharist. If you know of a parishioner who hasn't been with us for a good while, consider giving them a call. Invite them to return to Mass and to other Parish events. Consider offering a ride if one is needed, and don't be afraid to ask if there's anything you can do to help. Often, during the prayers of the faithful, many of you will note that I remember the sick and the homebound of our parish, but we should all do the same, remembering especially those who have been with us but haven't yet returned.

As we continue on our journey with the Lord in a time of change for our Parish, let us commit to ourselves and to one another to grow in our relationship with Christ, and in doing so, to be examples of Christ to one another.

Prayer for Our Local National Day of Prayer Observance

Tony the Misfit on Flickr / CC BY (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)

National Science Foundation

Almighty and Ever-living God…

For the sake of the Sorrowful Passion of your Only-Begotten Son, have mercy upon your people, O Lord, and upon the whole world. Grant, we beseech you, the healing of body, of mind, and of soul to all of those who are afflicted with the effects of the COVID-19 coronavirus, and of every other crippling illness. Give recovery to the cities and communities of our nation and the world who are suffering the effects of this disease, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, help those communities and their leaders turn to you, who alone may give them aid and rescue. We especially remember your precious poor of the world who do not have access to clean water or proper medical care during this epidemic.


We pray for those who are suffering the social and economic effects of COVID-19, particularly those who have been deprived of the dignity of meaningful work, and the fruits of their labor, knowing that many of our neighbors-our brothers and sisters-feel that their livelihood and even their God-given liberty is in danger because of something they cannot control. Come to their aid, O God, and to ours, for the power to restore us is yours alone.


We ask you, O Lord, to bring deliverance to the the nations of the world from degeneration, disaster, and war. We pray that our leaders will give themselves neither to a spirit of fear, nor to a spirit of reliance upon their own wisdom, but that they will turn to Divine Wisdom, which can only be found in the Risen Christ. When this trial is over, grant that its fruits may be used to your glory, that men and women will turn their hearts to God alone, and give you thanks and praise for your salvation.


We ask this through Our Lord Jesus Christ Your Son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever.


Amen.


Note: The video version of this prayer was edited and shortened in order to fit within the allotted time for the observance. This is the original prayer as I wrote it.

Homily for the 26th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Amos 6:1A, 4-7
1 Timothy 6:11-16 
Luke 16:19-31


We are not told that the rich man in Jesus’ parable didn’t believe in God, or that he lacked faith, or that he didn’t observe the letter of the law of Moses himself. What we do learn about the rich man is that he has one of the worst problems that any professing believer in God, any professing Christian today can have, and that is the problem of indifference. The rich man was obviously indifferent to the plight of Lazarus who was at his gate, but even more, it is clear that while he was alive, this man had no fear of God. Why can we say that? He saw Lazarus all the time out at the entrance to his property, and he chose to ignore the situation. This is not only an illustration to us from Jesus that we should not ignore the poor and the helpless and should be keen to lend them a hand up, it also represents a flagrant violation of repeated commands of God not to ignore the cry of the poor.



Indifference may be the greatest tool of Satan to bring the greatest number of people into Hell. The Devil isn't worried about the hardened sinner, the unrepentant murderer, the unrepentant adulterer, the unrepentant criminal, the atheist who violently renounces the faith (out of spite against God), a phenomenon we see more and more of today. Satan already has these people, those who have turned away from God in a very public way. He doesn't have to make any effort to try to get them, Jesus is the one who gave his all to bring those people to repentance, and it is the Lord who makes the effort to pursue the hardened sinner. Instead, the Devil has to make an effort to lure the decent and the reasonable people into the Kingdom of Darkness, and indifference is how he does it. The rich man in Jesus's parable is a classic example of how indifference can ultimately send someone to Hell.



Nowhere are we told that the rich man was a personally bad individual, or that he treated members of his own family or his friends with such a lack of care or concern. We are told, however, that while he was eating and drinking well, and while he was well clothed and all of his needs were provided for, there was a need in front of him, a man who was his neighbor. To Lazarus and to his needs, the rich man was indifferent.



Because this was a parable of Jesus, we aren't told much about the rich man's personal life. However, because of the way things worked in 1st Century Palestine, we could probably glean that such a rich man was a Jewish person who was probably at least outwardly observant. That could mean that he went to the synagogue or to the Temple on a regular basis, and certainly for Holy Days and the Sabbath. He would certainly have paid his Temple tax and given the expected alms to the poor, and likely a sizable donation to the Temple treasury. His friends and family likely would not have seen him as anything other than "a good Jew," because that would have been what was accepted in that day and time for someone of that kind of status.


But as men see on the outward appearance, God sees on the heart (cf. 1 Samuel 16:7), and more than anything else it was the rich man's indifference to Lazarus and to the sin of failing to love his neighbor as himself which is what sent the rich man to Hell. (A note here… some of you may remember that a couple of years ago we had Father Stephen Imbarrato here, and he gave a wonderful Parish mission. In one of his talks he suggested that the rich man in the Gospel today might be in purgatory. I'm going to respectfully disagree with him, every decent commentary I have found places the rich man in Hell).


It should stand as a warning to all of us. God does not wish to send anyone to Hell, even Sacred Scripture tells us that much. Going to Hell is not in God's will for you, it's not in God's will for me, and despite what some of our ultra-Calvinist friends may think, it's not in God's will for anyone's life. (cf. 2 Peter 3:9) But God is both a wonderful father and wonderful friend, he doesn't force anyone to love him and he doesn't force anyone to keep His commandments… however, we are repeatedly warned that there are consequences if we don't keep His commandments. These are not consequences that he heaps upon us out of vengeance, but the consequences of failing to follow God are the results of the choices we face in life and the choices we make. The most dangerous choice of all is the choice of indifference. Indifference to our sins, yes, but also indifference to the things of God and to the plan of God.


God created us, and God loves us. He loves us enough to respect the choices that we make. If we choose to live a life without God (something that is possible to do even if you put up the front of coming to Mass on Sunday), we are the ones who have made the choice, and we've made it for eternity.


How can we make the right choice? We have the tools in front of us, we have the teachings of the Church, we have Sacred Scripture, and we not only have the Sacraments, but if we want to be right with God, and if we choose to accept the Graces that God wants to give us through the Sacraments, He will give us the Graces to live the kind of life that he expects of us to live (and part of that means not being afraid of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, God loves a repentant sinner).



But we can make the wrong choice as well, and that's entirely up to us. We can choose to be overly concerned with the things of this world, with our own self-enrichment, with our own pleasure and the things which please us. We have the choice to concern ourselves with getting by from day-to-day in this world with little concern for the next. So many people do as Saint Paul described, they have the form of religion, but deny the power thereof (cf. 2 Timothy 3:1-5).


 The Holy Spirit has given us everything we need to succeed in the Christian Life and to win the race. Do we avail ourselves of those tools? Not only coming to Holy Mass on Sunday but also on holy days of obligation? Are we people of Prayer? Do we pray the Rosary? Do we pray the Liturgy of the Hours? Do we pray the traditional prayers of the Church? Do we remember those who have asked us to pray for them? Do we read our Bibles? Study our Catechism? Do we make an active effort for intimacy with God because we love him?


The rich man asked Abraham to go to his brothers and warn them of the torments of an eternity without God, and Abraham reminded him that they had all they needed in this life right now to avoid the torments of Hell. "They have Moses and the Prophets, let them look to them." "But if only they could see you, Father Abraham and you warn them, they will believe."


"If they will not believe Moses and the prophets, neither will they believe if someone should rise from the dead." Someone did rise from the dead, that is why we are here, and we have two thousand years of the Church's Magisterium to guide us. Don't be like the rich man or his brothers...

Homily for the 17th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Genesis 18:20-32
Colossians 2:12-14
Luke 11:1-13



Today the Lord gives us in these readings examples of the ultimate prayers of petition, and the Church is also showing us that God is both perfectly merciful and perfectly just. In the first reading we see Abraham petitioning the Lord shortly before the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham does not tell the Lord that what he is about to do is wrong or unjust. Abraham knows better, he's aware of the wickedness of the cities of the plain. Instead he asks the Lord repeatedly if he would spare the city if righteous people could be found there.


First this petition begins with 50 righteous, then 45, then 40, and then 30, and then 20, and eventually Abraham whittles it down to 10 and the Lord agrees to spare the whole place for the sake of ten righteous people. We may get the impression here that Abraham had to somehow convince God to spare Sodom if he could find these righteous people, but the truth of the matter is that God is God, if he would spare the place for 50 righteous and agree to spare the place for 10, he would spare the place for 10 all along. As it was, he could only find the family of Lot to be righteous, and we know from Sacred Scripture that that wasn't quite good enough to save the cities of the plain.


I have always believed that if the Lord could find one righteous person within Sodom and Gomorrah other than the family of Lot, he may very well have spared the place for the sake of just one. The reality of this passage is that Abraham was willing to plead for the life of these evil places and the people within them, and God was listening. He was willing to spare the life of the cities of the plain. We don't often speak enough in our present culture of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and what led up to it. There is so much wickedness in the sight of God in Western society today-evils that are not only tolerated but praised-that it is easy to look at our culture and say that we deserve the same fate...


However, it's also easy to forget that before God put Sodom and Gomorrah literally upon the ash heap of history, he was willing to spare the whole place for the sake of ten righteous people. It gives me much hope for our country that this was the case. Will we be like Abraham was in pleading for the life of Sodom, and plead with God for the life of our country and our culture?


In the second reading from Colossians Saint Paul reminds us that we do not deserve God's mercy or his forgiveness but in baptism he freely gives it to us. St John the Apostle and Evangelist reminds us that when we do sin we have an advocate with the Father (cf. 1 John 2:1-3) and that is exactly why the Sacrament of Reconciliation is so important. God said to Abraham that he would spare Sodom for the sake of ten righteous people, he didn't say that he would spare Sodom for the sake of ten sinless people, that is impossible. One of the things that truly marks someone who is righteous before God is not that they are without sin, it's that they recognize sin when they commit it for what it is, and they sincerely beg God for forgiveness and promise to amend their life. There's no such thing as private sin, there's no such thing as sin that does not affect others in some way. The mark of the righteous person is the one who acknowledges that reality and who is willing to go and seek the forgiveness of God and the Church. (May the Lord give us all that Grace!) The very Grace of our baptism guarantees that if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.


In the Gospel Jesus is reminding us not so much that our prayers will be answered if we annoy God, but really that he values and hears our prayers. He understands whether or not our prayers are truly sincere. As Jesus said, if the wicked are willing to give their children good things that they ask for, how much more is God willing to give to us, to his children who ask in sincerity and in truth. Jesus is reminding us of something that Scripture tells us in many different ways repeatedly, that "the effectual and fervent prayers of a righteous man availeth much." (cf. James 5:16) Scripture gives us many examples of this, but if we look hard enough most of us can see it in our own lives. God has not left us without, he does hear our prayers. He does answer them, perhaps not always in the way that we would want, but he understands the desires of our heart, and those desires which are holy and good, and he knows how best to achieve them.


Perhaps the holiest kind of prayer to God is the kind of prayer where we are pleading for the sake of others, not merely ourselves. It's why the prayer of the mother or the father who are praying for their children to come back to the faith is particularly precious to God. It's why the prayer of the brother or sister or husband or wife for their lost sibling or spouse who needs to come home to the Church is particularly precious to God. This is the reason that the sincere prayer, made in Love, by a sincere believer, for a lost world and for a nation gone astray is especially precious to God. Yes, God hears these prayers, and he answers them with compassion.


Abraham's pleading with God in the first reading is the classic example of that. God listened to Abraham, God heard him with compassion, and God was ready to grant his request. There is a very serious lesson here, however. God's answer to Abraham's prayer is not what Abraham wanted. Abraham wanted God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah, but God did not. God did not find the righteous people there that he told Abraham that he would look for. In the end, the cities of the plain were destroyed because of their sin.


Yet God was willing to spare this place in his Mercy, and he hears our prayers for our loved ones who have strayed from the practice of the faith, or perhaps haven't come to it yet. Almighty God is perfectly just, but he is perfectly merciful as well. We may not always get the answers we want, but if we ask God in sincerity and listen for His will, and not our own, the Lord will give us an answer to our prayers.

Vesting as an Act of Prayer

It goes without saying that some deacons  take their responsibilities to Christ in the Sacred Liturgy more importantly than others do. In some cases, (and I am basing this on conversations I have had with other deacons, many of them outside of our diocese) this may be because of their formation, wherein they have been formed to believe that the liturgy is not the most important thing that they do. The ministry of every deacon is going to look different than those of his brothers, no two are going to look exactly alike. I think that most people understand that different people have different gifts.

However, for the average person in the pew, they're more likely to see their deacons in the Liturgy than anywhere else, and the liturgical ministry of the deacon is, in that sense, one of the most important things that he does. Therefore, it's very important to know the Liturgy and try to do the things that we are called upon to do as well as we possibly can. We are doing them for Jesus, after all. I know that for me, at this stage in my life and my ministry, the Sacred Liturgy is one of the most important things that I am engaged in. It is extremely important to me, on a spiritual level, to approach this work of God with the solemnity and prayer that it deserves.

Shortly after serving at Mass
Photo: Jason Davis

Nevertheless, there are times when my life can get in the way of a more prayerful attitude when I come to the church to assist at the altar. The responsibilities, and the cares, and the worries, and the concerns, that come with daily ordinary life do not end because I have just walked into the Sacristy. There have been times that I have showed up to assist at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and my heart was there, but my mind was on a million other things. How can you just switch that off? How can you begin to focus in such a way as to really give Jesus an hour of your time when everybody is watching you?

The Church provides assistance for us to begin to focus our minds on the Mass through the Vesting Prayers, prayers which are said as we put on the vesture of service at the altar. I have found that these precious prayers have been particularly helpful to me, especially at those times when I have showed up for Mass with just a few minutes to spare, and I really have to try to focus to ready my heart and mind for assistance with the Sacred Mysteries.

When we put our vestments on, we should remember that each of the articles has both a practical use and a symbolic meaning. When we understand this, it helps us to treat our vestments as both the sacramental holy reminder they are to us as well as the sacramental that they are to the People of God. Praying as I put my vestments on helps me to focus on what it is that I am about to do, and to leave my other concerns to prayer-or even better, to take them with me to the altar and put them before the Lord.

If you are a deacon and you are not familiar with the vesting prayers, here they are with some simple instructions on how to pray them when vesting.

The process of prayerful vesting should begin with the washing of hands. Remember that we are going to be distributing the Holy Eucharist to the People of God, so it is important that we should wash hands at some point beforehand, as we shall hold Christ in our very hands. This is both a practical as well as a ritual act. We begin vesting prayers with a prayer at the washing of the hands:

Give virtue to my hands, O Lord, that, being cleansed from all stain, I might serve You with purity of mind and body.


The amice is great for preventing "ring around the collar" on your alb. It also represents the "helmet of salvation." (cf. Ephesians 6:17)  If the amice is worn, as we put it on we pray:


Place, O Lord, upon my head the helmet of salvation, that I may repel the assaults of the Devil.


The alb represents the purity of our baptism, and as we vest in it we pray for the Lord to restore in us purity of heart:


Cleanse me, O Lord, and purify my heart, that, washed in the Blood of the Lamb, I may attain unto everlasting joys.


The cincture represents chastity, and we pray for chastity as the cincture is fastened:


Lord, fasten the cincture of purity around me and extinguish my earthly desires, that the virtue of continence and chastity may dwell within me.


The stole is the symbol of our office as ordained men and deacons in the Church. It also represents God's promise to restore immortality to us in Jesus Christ:


 Lord, restore the stole of immortality, which I lost through the actions of our first parents, and although I am unworthy to approach your sacred mysteries, may I gain eternal joy.


When we put on our dalmatic, the garment of charity, we pray:


Lord, vest me in the garment of salvation, the vestment of joy. May I always be surrounded by the dalmatic of justice.

By beginning our service at the altar with prayer, we bring our vocation into focus.

The Case of (Father) Jonathan Morris

By now, most of the world of Catholic Social Media, at least in the United States, is aware of the situation regarding (Father) Jonathan Morris. Morris, a former member of the Legionaries of Christ who was released from his vows in that tortured religious order, and later became a priest of the Archdiocese of New York, also became a valued contributor to Fox News for over 14 years. As a result of this, Father Morris developed a well-rounded social media presence, and certainly became one of the most visible priests from his already very visible Archdiocese.

His public announcement some weeks back that he has petitioned Pope Francis to be allowed to be dispensed from his solemn promises as an ordained priest and allowed to return to the lay state caused some of his followers to wish him well, and some to label him a coward who had abandoned his commitments as an ordained man in the Church.

To be very clear, I am not a great believer in the ease with which laicization (which should be more properly referred to as the release from clerical promises or vows) is often obtained by many ordained clerics. Many priests do this so that they can have the freedom to marry after having taken vows or made solemn promises of celibacy and chastity. Many deacons request a return to the lay state in order that they might marry after their wife dies, something the Apostle Paul forbids in ordinary circumstances even in Scripture itself (1 Timothy 3:2, 1 Timothy 3:12, Titus 1:5-7) when he says that an ordained man is to be "the husband of one wife" (he wasn't talking about polygamy, no Christian has ever been allowed to live a polygamous life validly or licitly).

Even though clerical celibacy did not become the official rule in the West until the Middle Ages, the practice that no cleric could marry once they were ordained dates to antiquity itself. If a man was already married and sought ordination, his family was thoroughly scrutinized, as Paul himself discusses in Scripture, so that they would not bring scandal upon the Church. This idea that members of the clergy could be released from their promises in order that they may live as they please is a thoroughly modern one. If the release from promises, the removal of faculties, and the return to the lay state voluntarily is too easily obtained, this truly shows an ill regard for the clerical state, and that is every bit as bad as the clergy showing an ill regard for the laity.

I stand by this belief, but it's also clear to me that Father Jonathan's case is far from normal. There are always exceptions to every rule, and we can't be anyone's ultimate judge. The perversion of the Legionaries of Christ under their founder, the late Father Marcial Maciel, is by now very well known to many people. Maciel was an abuser, pedarist, pedophile, and sexual predator, who used the religious society that he founded as a front for much of his perversion. Good holy young men like Jonathan Morris were really "peer pressured" into being ordained, as opposed to being authentically called by the Holy Spirit.

Late last week, Morris revealed that he had agreed to an interview on Fox News, where he had served for so long as Religious Affairs contributor because of his position as a priest and a moral authority. There were a lot of people, including myself, who wondered if such an interview was a good idea. Many of us worried that Morris was merely attention-seeking, trying now to capitalize on his position as a laicized priest. In watching the interview, this is not what I found.

The interview itself was around nine minutes long, hardly much time to grab a lot of publicity or do much "damage." Instead, I found that Morris was far from the media savvy man we often saw on Fox in a Roman collar, and he instead appeared nervous, a little repetitive, and unsure of himself. He clearly wasn't quite in his element, but he was desperately trying to explain to the many viewers who had come to appreciate his counsel what had happened in his life.

He admitted to having a relationship with a woman while he was in the seminary. He was ready to leave then, and was pressured into staying by Mariel Maciel himself. Based on Father Jonathan's description of what happened to him, it can hardly be said that his acceptance of religious life and ordination to the priesthood occurred because of authentic discernment. Jonathan Morris does not appear to have been allowed truly authentic discernment of his vocation.

I will discuss the Catholic theology of Holy Orders and ordination in a future post, but the reality is that there is really no such thing as a "former priest," "former deacon," or "former bishop." Those terms may be used, but they are not theologically correct at all. Ordination is permanent, and that means that Father Jonathan Morris will be "a priest forever." However, he will be a priest who has had his faculties to minister removed (albeit by his own choosing), and thus returned to the practical state of a layman.

We may be somewhat unfair to Morris in saying that he is attention-seeking. He is now cut off from the means of ecclesiastical support normally given to diocesan clergy-but especially priests- who are entitled to pay and pension, and often health insurance. Now he has to fend for himself. I don't know if I can blame him for intentionally snooping around in the media world where he has some experience.

I don't know if he has made the right decision, and it's not our place to say. But I do pray for Father Morris, I know he needs it.

Man of the Church

It has admittedly been quite some time since I have posted here at Operarius, largely because my summer work has taken me to the Diocese of Knoxville's official blog Life At 25, which has meant that I have had less time to post here. However, it is worth noting that as our diocesan Eucharistic Congress approaches this coming weekend, so does the Rite of Candidacy that will "officially" make me a candidate for ordination. That Rite will happen on October 12th, God willing.

If there is one thing that I have learned over the past few months, it is that some people are slowly starting to notice that there have been a lot of changes in the way that I do things. My daily Examiner column has taken on far more religious content and far less political content. It isn't that I have lost interest in the political world (that is what my degree is in, after all, so I have an abiding personal interest in, and a certain enjoyment of, politics), but there is a genuine realization that now, my personal views could be wrongly taken for the views of the Church at large.

"Now Oatney," you may say, "that is silly. Why on earth would anyone take your opinion for the point of view of the diocese, or the bishops' conference, or the Church as a whole." There are some well-meaning people out there who do not necessarily grasp how the Church functions internally as a body, and so the opinions of one small potato can be blown into the official Yukon Gold Source of Truth. That doesn't mean I'm not entitled to my opinion, but it does mean that I must be increasingly more careful about when and how it is expressed. I should point out that, at least to some degree, I have learned this reality "the hard way."

I don't say all that with a sense of trepidation, lest anyone think that might be the case, but instead with an understanding that my journey of formation is about to enter a new phase. Candidacy means that the Church will recognize publicly, for the first time, that there is a strong possibility that I may be ordained. It means that I will be a "man of the Church," and may be seen as such by some already.

Perhaps most important of all, though, I see a change in myself, one that I believe comes from the Holy Spirit. I am increasingly comfortable that the Holy Spirit has placed me where I now find myself, and even though I don't yet know what ministries I will have if I am ordained, I am confident that if the Lord allows me to be ordained, that he will give me the gifts that I need to carry out what I am called to do, if he hasn't already.

Most of all, though, myself and the men of our formation class need your prayers. Remember us as you remember your pastor, and all the clergy. I know that so many of my brother Aspirants are thankful for all the prayers they can get. I know that I am.

A project blessing and charity

Well, we had a very good (if very "loaded") series of formation classes with Dr. Sherri Brown on the synoptic Gospels, and I had my long-awaited meeting with Deacon Tim Elliott and Deacon Jim Lawson. At first, I was quite nervous and I didn't know what to expect, although in hindsight, the meeting itself wasn't much to be worried about.

As everyone knows who reads this blog, I have been concerned for some time to find a summer project that would fulfill the 30 hours of service which is being asked for by the bishop. I am grateful to God that a project has been given to me, and while I don't know if that project will fulfill a full 30 hours, I know it will fulfill a good chunk of it considering how long it takes me to research and write a good post. I have been asked to be the primary (certainly not the only) blogger for a few months on the Diocese of Knoxville's blog dedicated to our 25th Anniversary, Life at 25. (You can see my first two posts in that assignment here and here). I asked Deacon Tim if I could use the time that I put into Life at 25 as a summer project, and he said that he would accept that. I am thrilled to have the assignment, but I also know that in this case, my strength is my weakness, because I have taken on a project that is all about the use of words, long an admitted strength.

As Deacon Tim has very rightly pointed out to me, however, the "third leg" of the mission of the diaconate is charity, and he made it rather clear, I think, that the ability to render charity in some form is something that he is looking for, and he should-one of the things we are reminded of in the Ordination Rite is that we are to be conformed to Christ, who came not to be served, but to serve. Hence, I am actively looking for a way to render some charity, and not merely because it is being asked of me, but because I know that as a deacon, it will be an integral part of my ministry and I want to reflect Christ's love to as many people as I can.



I am hoping that my writing this summer will bless a lot of people, and that the Lord might give me another opportunity to give people who need it a blessing also.

Projects and praise

The time has come to begin searching in earnest for our summer service projects for formation. I am still unsure exactly what my summer service will entail. Deacon Tim Elliott, who is our Director of Deacons and Deaconate Formation, has e-mailed us a list of suggested places that we might go to minister, but I thought the list for our deanery was a bit thin. The good news is that we don't have to follow that list, we are at liberty to find our own service project, but we have to verify that we've done the good works we set out to do by writing Deacon Tim a one-page summary of our work and the contact information of the person or people who can verify that we did what we have said we would do, and for the amount of time that we are pledged to do it. That is neither an unreasonable request, nor is it undoable once I do find something.

At this point, I still have no idea what my summer service project will be, but I am open to suggestions and I am going to operate under the assumption that if it is something radically different that I might need to clear it with Deacon Tim or with the bishop, even though I have been told in an e-mail that we do not necessarily have to clear our projects beforehand. I'd certainly feel more comfortable doing so in order to make certain that whatever I find (or come up with) meets the intentions that Deacon Tim and Bishop Stika have set out for a proper service requirement, not just a case of "I like this, so I think I will do it." Nicole suggested that it may be possible to find something to do at Daily Bread, which is an ecumenical ministry in Morristown that feeds hungry people-anyone who comes-every day. Many area churches serve there, including our own parish. My spiritual director has suggested that I might consider offering some classes of supplemental instruction at the parish over the summer on topics such as different forms of prayer, the liturgy, or the Eucharist after I expressed a concern to him about some of our RCIA neophytes being "left hanging" a bit (not on purpose, mind you, they just kept right on coming!). I couldn't help but notice that this year, unlike what I have often observed in previous years, we didn't see much of a drop-off in attendance after Easter. Most of our new Catholics stayed with us right up to the very end. To me, this indicated a spiritual hunger and interest, so I might like to try and address some of that (of course, were I to offer these informational sessions, they'd be open to all, not just former RCIA participants). Father Joseph would have to approve of that project, too...

I am also actively seeking to assist the parish in new ways. There are a couple of committee positions on the parish council at St. Pat's that I have a genuine interest in. One is spiritual life, and the other is parish life. Since prayer and spirituality are what I would call a strength of mine (albeit a developing strength), perhaps I can also be of service in this way. A ministry of prayer and the teaching and spreading of prayer to others is one that I would hope to have if I am-God willing-ordained.

Even though I am still perplexed about what my summer project might be, I have decided to take the advice of a commenter to this blog back in January when I first expressed honest concern and some apprehension about what my summer project might be. Everything about my formation up to this point I have entrusted to Jesus through Mary, and I have told the Lord that I trust in him to provide what I need, and he has so far done that through the wonderful and prayerful support of my brother Aspirants, in a unique way through Steve Helmbrecht and Don Griffith, who have been generous to provide me a ride to formation each month, and have therefore had to put up with me! The Lord sent them to answer my prayer that if this was the Lord's will, the Lord would provide a way. 

I am going to approach my summer project with the same spirit and with that prayer brought to us by St. Faustina: "Jesus I trust in you." It is our bishop's episcopal motto (Iesu Confido in Te) and it has become my personal prayer throughout my formation process...and so I trust in Jesus to show me the way in summer service the way he has shown me the way in everything else.

And I am going to praise God for his goodness to me in allowing me to be formed in this way. In that spirit, here is another of my favorite Taize hymns.

If you don't know the Latin, it roughly translates:

Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
All Nations, Alleluia!


Finally, pray for me. This coming weekend is our formation weekend, and on Saturday I am scheduled to meet with Deacon Tim, Deacon Jim Lawson, and <??????> to answer whatever questions they may have about where I am in my call, to submit my canonical impediments form, and to receive instructions on how to formally request candidacy from the bishop. Nicole will also have to join me in this request.

A little prompting of the Holy Spirit

Not this past weekend, but the one prior (March 9th and 10th), I had an opportunity to attend a retreat at our parish called Christ Renews His Parish. Our parish's lone remaining deacon, Deacon Jim Fage, was also there for much of the time. The retreat was largely given to us by some wonderful members of St. Francis de Sales parish in Lebanon, Ohio. They came and gave of themselves for us that we might in return give a similar retreat to others in the near future (hopefully in about six months). It was a wonderful and spiritually enriching weekend for everyone. I was most heartened that the deacon from St. Francis, Deacon Jay Rettig, came to help with the retreat because we had a wonderful time of exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, at the beginning of which Deacon Jay preached a wonderful homily based on John 6. Deacon Jay also preached the Sunday homily for the 11:30 Mass, and was kind enough to pray Vespers with me Saturday night (because I was by that point finding it hard to keep my eyes open, finding a prayer partner was a real help).

For me, there were several "a-ha" moments during the retreat, especially on Sunday. However, for me the most important thing that happened occurred outside of our retreat sessions. On Saturday night our lay retreat director, Scott Shafer, had organized a social hour after many of us had finished adoring the Eucharist and praying the rosary. I intended to go, as I had thought it would provide an opportunity for me to get to know some of the men from our parish who were on the retreat that I did not know as well. After all, I reasoned, if I am going to be ordained, I may be serving some of these men and their families. En route to the place of the social I stopped by the basement chapel where a group of men-some from St. Francis and some from St. Pat's-were praying for and over one another and each other's needs and intentions. I had prayer intentions as well, so I figured that I would go in and ask for prayer, and I did so. When my turn requesting and receiving the prayers of those assembled was finished, I thought that I would leave their presence and go to the social, indeed I headed for the door...


...But something...someone...stopped me, and I believe that someone was the Holy Spirit. I heard clearly.

"You will not go to the social and have a beer. You will not do so until you have stayed in this place and prayed for, with, and over every one of these men."


I did what I was told by the Holy Spirit, and I was glad that I did. I learned people's needs and intentions and added many to my personal prayer list. Most importantly, I gained a spiritual treasure by gaining the prayer partnership of some very wonderful human beings. As they helped me by their prayers, I pray that I was able to be of some comfort to them with mine, and that I continue to be.


By the time we were finished, I was exhausted, which is why it was so hard for me to stay awake for the Office, but after Deacon Jay and I prayed it I was ready to retire for the night.


A special thank you should be given to Father Joseph Hammond, who allowed me to use the episcopal apartment for the night that night. I didn't request this, it was volunteered. This apartment is part of the rectory and was added for those occasions when the bishop might visit our parish. When Monsignor Garrity was with us, and his late mother came to stay with our parish family, Ms. Sylvia lived in the bishop's quarters. It was comfortable and certainly spacious, although I had no time to enjoy that. I think I got four hours of sleep that night, if that...but it felt like holy deprivation!

Thoughts on Pope Francis

I knew the moment that Pope Francis stepped out on the loggia that there was something I really liked about him. I was first struck by the way he appeared on the balcony, and asked that before he imposed the Apostolic Blessing, the people should pray for him. He led people in an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and a Glory Be for him and for Benedict XVI. For awhile he bowed his head in silent prayer-the massive rain-soaked crowd was silent. His entire first appearance to the world was centered on prayer.


Since his election yesterday, I've learned quite a lot about Pope Francis. I've learned that as Archbishop of Buenos Aries, he was offered a permanent post in the Roman Curia by Blessed John Paul II, but he politely and respectfully turned it down. Instead, he remained Archbishop of the Argentine capital, and eschewed the well-appointed episcopal residence for a sparse apartment. He turned down the car and driver which the Archdiocese provided for him and took the bus and the subway instead. One person from Buenos Aries said in a news interview that if you wanted to have an audience with Cardinal Brogolio, you just needed to know which train or bus he was taking. Oh, and in addition to his ecclesiastical duties, he apparently cared for a fellow Jesuit priest with a disability who stayed with him at his little apartment. I identify with the Holy Father, because when I was a single man, I lived in the city and I took the bus everywhere-I had to because of my own disability (the Holy Father obviously identifies with disabled people since he was close friends with and cared for a disabled person).


He apparently turned down his official Vatican car and decided instead to take the bus with the cardinals back to Casa Santa Martha. He took the Vatican's equivalent of a taxi to the Basilica of St. Mary Major this morning, and celebrated the Mass to close the conclave at the Sistine Chapel where he said in his homily “we can build so many things but if we don’t confess Jesus Christ, then something is wrong. We will become a pitiful NGO [non-governmental organization], but not the Church, spouse of Christ.”


In formation, we are taught about the meaning of diakonia, from which we get the word "deacon." That word, in the Greek, means "servant" or "slave." One of the most obvious uses of the word is to be found in Philippians 2:7-8, where we are told that Jesus "emptied himself, taking the form of a servant [diakonia], being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross."


In his homily today, Pope Francis talked a lot about the cross and the need for believers to take it up. In fact, he said that to claim Christ but be unwilling to take up his cross doesn't make us believers at all. It has struck me that we talk a lot about diakonia and servanthood, and with good reason, because that is part of the calling of a deacon. In Pope Francis, it seems that we have a living example to the whole world of what diakonia is really all about.

Conclave first ballot-Non habemus papam

Keep those prayer vigils, rosaries, and holy hours going folks. I don't think anyone realistically expected a new pope on the first ballot.

A special time of prayer for the conclave

As I am writing this, the cardinal-electors are processing from the Pauline Chapel into the Sistine Chapel, and Conclave 2013 is about to begin-they are chanting the Litany of the Saints as they move from one place to the other. The cardinals take their individual oaths to be faithful to the deposit of faith if elected and to keep the secrecy of the Sacred Conclave.

As those in the Diocese of Knoxville may know, Bishop Richard Stika has called for a time of praying the rosary and a period of exposition of the Blessed Sacrament in our parishes today. A lot of parishes, including my own, are having these services of prayer, reflection, and adoration during the day today, and a lot of folks are working today or have other secular business that keeps them away from God's House during this important time for the Church.

This isn't a parish, but a blog. Nonetheless, to allow for those who can't be in a parish for a rosary and holy hour today, we're going to have virtual prayer for the conclave as it begins. Let's begin by invoking the Holy Spirit on the cardinal-electors just like they did for themselves. Right now they are hearing a reflection on the importance of the responsibility God has placed in front of them before they cast that first ballot.




This version of the Veni Sancte Spiritus is from the Taize Community, and it is one of my favorites.


Next, let's pray the rosary for our needs and intentions, those of our families and friends, the intentions of the Church, and for the conclave now sitting behind those chapel doors. I've chosen the Glorious Mysteries since the third Glorious Mystery is the coming of the Holy Spirit on the apostles at the beginning of the Church at Pentecost. We should pray that our new Pontiff might help usher in another Pentecost.


Finally, we'll end with Eucharistic Benediction and devotions. This happens to be the recording of the benediction from this past Sunday at the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament in Hanceville, Alabama.  The Litany of the Sacred Heart and the prayers have a special focus on the conclave.

A brief reflection on...reflection

As you may have noticed, I have removed the clock in the left sidebar-at least for now. I have done this in part after reflecting for awhile on the words of a commenter to this blog that they felt distracted by the presence of the clock and the words above it-"Time Is Short." This person said that they loved this site, but that they come here for the "warmth and security" of the Lord's presence that they feel when they are here. I am truly humbled that there are those of you who see this blog as a place of reflection, and I want to be as good a pastoral influence as I can-no one who truly loves the Church as I do wants to lead people away from the things of God.

I still haven't given up the idea of a clock somewhere on the blog at some point in the future, however, but If one does return, I'd like it to look something like the clock on Father Martin Fox's blog. I think Father Martin still utilizes blogger's old HTML coding, which made it relatively easy to put a clock or anything else anywhere you wanted if you knew anything about the code-I'd love to find a more unobtrusive place if possible. However, this blog is one of Blogger's newer designs, and to be honest-I can't figure out the coding on it! I initially decided to try a widget that I could easily "figure out." Clearly, this may have been "easy" for me, but perhaps it resulted in a lack of good pastoral judgment on my part. If I may shamelessly quote the Holy Father, I beg you to please "forgive my defects."


Since some of you are using your visits here as a time to read and have spiritual reflection (something for which I am most unworthy compared to some others), I thought I might share a hymn with you for your prayer and meditation. If you are one of the few who have read this blog from the beginning you might recall that I posted a tribute on All Saints of 2011 to the late Father Chris Rohmiller, who helped guide me into the Church years ago. As I said in that post, Father Chris introduced me to a great many things that continue to inform my spirituality today, and a few things that filled my stomach that probably shouldn't have, like the fettuccine at Mamma DiSalvo's and at Giovanni's. Good for the soul if not for the bodily health!


One of the things Father Chris introduced me to in the time that he was a part of my spiritual life was the music of the Taize Community, which I still love today. This is my favorite Taize prayer hymn-"In the Lord I'll Be Ever Thankful."

Be not afraid

Yesterday was one of those days when I needed the readings that were presented, and I believe the Holy Spirit spoke to me through them in a special way. As you might have figured out by reading my posts, there have times when I have struggled with my own worthiness to be in formation. I have questioned, as I am sure many men have on the road to the deaconate, my own worthiness to be there. There are times when I have thought "I am not as holy as others, Lord, why choose me," or even (in honesty) "I am a cripple, Lord, what can I do to minister to others in your name that brings the Church to them." I have struggled with this at times with a full understanding that no small part of this comes from the devil, who delights at bringing discouragement to us. Even knowing that, however, it helps to be reminded that God's ways are not our ways, and that he doesn't work in the same way that we do, not even remotely-though he often uses human agents to do his work.

I thought of those times I have been discouraged about my own ministry when I heard the readings yesterday, and the thought of God's goodness overwhelmed me nearly to the point of tears as I listened to the vision of the Prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 6:6-8:

Then I said, “Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” Then one of the seraphim flew to me, holding an ember that he had taken with tongs from the altar. He touched my mouth with it, and said, “See, now that this has touched your lips, your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.” Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” “Here I am,” I said; “send me!”

The real a-ha moment came in the second reading, when St. Paul described his own unworthiness to exercise his special calling as an apostle when, unlike the other apostles, he didn't walk and talk with the Lord when he was personally present, and he persecuted the Church in his zeal, but he told the Corinthians in 1st Corinthians 15:8-11 that God put him in his office entirely because of his mercy and grace:

Last of all, as to one born abnormally, he appeared to me. For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective. Indeed, I have toiled harder than all of them; not I, however, but the grace of God that is with me. Therefore, whether it be I or they, so we preach and so you believed.

At this point, I felt like the Lord was hitting me over the head with a proverbial frying pan, as if to say: "Is this clear enough for you?" He was telling me that his concept of worthiness and mine might be quite different, even as I struggle with whether I am humble enough to be a deacon-but Paul struggled with humility too, and he was an apostle-far more important than I ever want to be. Then there was the Gospel, and the part that struck me was Peter and the Lord's words to him in Luke 5:5-11:

“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets.” When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come to help them. They came and filled both boats so that the boats were in danger of sinking. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at the knees of Jesus and said, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” For astonishment at the catch of fish they had made seized him and all those with him, and likewise James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were partners of Simon. Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” When they brought their boats to the shore, they left everything and followed him.

In Peter's words I could hear myself saying that very thing to Jesus "depart from me, for I am a sinful man." I could also hear Jesus' words in reply back to me "do not be afraid..." That may have been the most important thing Jesus said to Peter...it might have been the most important thing I heard in the readings yesterday, something that the Lord knew I needed to hear.

I woke up this morning to the news that the Holy Father will resign, effective February 28th. Perhaps that is one of the many reasons why I needed to hear "be not afraid" yesterday, because today my first thought after hearing the news was "Lord, what are we going to do now?" Yes, I know the canonical procedure quite well, I know we'll have a conclave and a new Pope, and the Church will role on. It doesn't make the situation any easier for those of us who love and appreciate Pope Benedict XVI, but I am open to the reality that the Holy Spirit may be doing something new. The Holy Father has, I believe, acted under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and we should continue to pray that the Holy Spirit guides the Church through this time and that the College of Cardinals meets with the power of the Holy Spirit very active among them under the protection and intercession of Mary, Mother of the Church.


Finally, I have a request for those of you who are regular readers of this blog. As you may be able to see, I've placed a clock on the left hand sidebar of this blog. I'll have more to say about the clock and why it is there in a special entry I am composing for Ash Wednesday, but the clock used in the widget is not my first choice of a clock. There are a couple of other clock widgets I would prefer (one is from Clocklink), and I could insert one of them by incerting the HTML code in the proper place-but blogger has changed its HTML code since I have worked with it, and I can't figure out where in the code the sidebar is located! I need a hand with this. Feel free to e-mail me if you can be of assistance.

Reflection on the Baptism of the Lord

Luke 3:15-16, 21-22:

  The people were filled with expectation, and all were asking in their hearts whether John might be the Messiah. John answered them all, saying, “I am baptizing you with water, but one mightier than I is coming. I am not worthy to loosen the thongs of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire."

 After all the people had been baptized and Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, heaven was opened and the holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”






Recently, I had the special pleasure of writing a piece for the Diocese of Knoxville's 25th Anniversary Jubilee website on the triple meaning of the Feast of the Epiphany. I'll leave you to visit the site and read for yourself to find out more (the link is in the text above), but the short version was that the Feast of the Epiphany had originally celebrated three important manifestations of God and of Christ's divinity. One was the Incarnation and Nativity of Our Lord, one was the Baptism of the Lord, and one was the Wedding Feast at Cana, where Jesus performed his first miracle of changing water into wine. Many Eastern Christians believe that the Baptism of the Lord was the real beginning of Christ's passion, because it was the beginning of Jesus' public ministry, and it was from that point that the entire trajectory of Jesus' life began to move slowly toward the Cross. It may be with this reality in mind that the Church both ends the Christmas season on this feast and begins what we call Ordinary Time-the majority of the Church year where we are really celebrating the teachings of Jesus in our worship, just as we reflect on the unique mysteries of his life that we celebrate at Christmas, Lent, Holy Week, and Easter time. Note that this year, there are exactly 30 days of Ordinary Time before Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.


Jesus' baptism was both an example for us as well as the beginning of his ministry. As Catholic Christians, it is our belief that Jesus Christ is both fully human and fully divine-completely God and completely man. That's not a mystery that I can begin to explain with due justice, but I will say that I believe that like all of us, Jesus in his human nature received a call from God at some point in his life. Some folks think this was when he was 12 years old and told his parents when they ran back to Jerusalem looking for him and found him in the Temple: "Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (cf. Luke 2:49) There are also some people who think that the real beginning of his call happened on the day of his baptism when the Father's voice said "this is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased." (cf. Luke 3:22) That wouldn't be too different from the rest of us, because whether we were old enough to understand it or not, our call into the family of God began at our baptism. Since I was baptized as an adult, it wouldn't be unfair to say that if the Lord calls me to ordination, that that call-though known to God and intended by God before the foundation of the world-began when I first said yes to God, and when I asked the Church to baptize me. The call comes from God, but the choice to respond to that call rests with us-God is never going to force himself on us, because that would not be an act of love, and God is Love. We know that Jesus was tempted like us, but unlike us, he never sinned-he always chose the better part.


I have shared with you here in recent days that I have prayed and continue to pray that the Lord would give me a great increase in humility. I feel the call to the deaconate even stronger now than felt when I began formation, even as I understand that for me, this entire journey is one based on trust in God, because just as when I began formation, I know not what tomorrow shall bring. I learned that firsthand today. Nicole and I are experiencing some sudden car trouble. Thankfully, we'll be able to have the car fixed without much difficulty (it is an issue with the power steering), but it looks as though I may miss our deanery formation workshop as a result, since Saturday is the one day that we can take the car in to have the issue fixed that wouldn't wreak havoc on our regular daily schedule. When I first heard this, I was distraught-I have never missed a formation weekend or a workshop. I look forward to them with eagerness, and Nicole also expressed to me how disappointed she was that she wouldn't be able to attend-I miss my brother Aspirants when we are not learning together. As much as I was upset at this, nearly to the point of anger, I then stopped to reflect that I had been praying for an increase in humility, and that God often increases our humility through trials and sudden unforeseen difficulties, and I just felt led to say "thank you Lord." Even when things get rough, I have to learn to be thankful.

Prayer and spirituality

As I write this, I'm at our January formation weekend, and the focus for this weekend is prayer and spirituality. Our instructor and spiritual guide for the weekend is Father Michael Cummins, who also happens to be our diocesan vocations director. Those of you who are from Johnson City or who may have attended East Tennessee State University might be familiar with Father Michael, because he is also the campus minister at the Catholic Center at ETSU, and he has a big challenge-as he told us "I'm a staff of one."

I have a special place in my heart for campus ministry, because I was baptized as an adult in a campus ministry setting, and I know that Catholic campus ministries can be an island of spiritual serenity in a sea of secular doubt and social disorder on our campuses today. One of the things thus far which impresses me about Father Michael is that he has such a deep and abiding spirit of humility about his ministry. I have gotten to the point where I daily pray for an increase in humility, because it is something that I always struggle with. Thinking you are being more humble is one thing, but when I see the humility and the spirit of peace with which Father Michael teaches and carries out his ministry, I know that I still have some way to go in that department. In observing Father Michael, I see that this is a spirit that I want to further cultivate in my own life and ministry in the days, weeks, and months ahead, and I would ask for prayers from all reading this for a great increase in humility in service.


One of the things we've talked about thus far are the positives and negatives in the Church and society today, and how these various factors impact our prayer and spirituality. I've talked about the negatives quite a lot on this blog in recent weeks, but there are also lots of good things happening in the Church that can aid our prayer and spiritual life. One of these is that the development of new media communication, with all of its inherent social baggage, can also be a tremendous aid in the spread of the Gospel and in aiding the faith of people who are already living lives of faith in Jesus Christ, but they need resources made available to them in order to better apply that faith to their prayer life and to daily work and life in the world. New media makes this kind of ministry much more available to people who need it. In thinking about this, I am reminded that I started this blog to be a ministry, even though it admittedly also acts as a vehicle for me to journal a bit about my own formation and spiritual development. If you are blessed by what you find here, how can this blog better serve you?

A New Year's reflection on communio

On this New Year's Day, I have cause to look back on the year just past and say that it has been an eventful one, but that I have been blessed and fortunate. Today is both a Holy Day of obligation (unless the bishop has prorogued it, in which case I am not aware-it is listed in my Ordo as a Holy Day of Obligation this year) and the first day of the calendar year 2013. Hence, it is a good day to give thanks for the year just past as well a to think on the year to come.


Nicole and I drank in the New Year last night with a couple of glasses of champagne. I not only told her I loved her but also told her, as well as reminded myself, how thankful I am for her. She certainly has a lot to put up with out of me, but she has also been the one person I can go to more than anyone else to talk about my formation experience, talk about what I am feeling, how I see my call from the Holy Spirit and to talk about the things of God or ecclesiastical affairs as they might pertain to our formation or to the ministry I am called to carry out-now as an Aspirant, and (if the Lord is willing) in the future in the deaconate. Nicole has not been able to be at a formation weekend yet because her schedule really won't allow for that (we raise goats, and Nicole has horses...spring and summer is milking season, winter means the horses have no grass, and Nicole has to take hay to them on the weekends), but because I don't drive, when I have had to be at a deanery workshop or a church meeting, Nicole often makes time not only to take me, but to attend and participate herself. Indeed, it seems that the deanery workshops in our deanery, with our small group of three Aspirants and three wives, are known to be well-participated...all of our wives attend and pray with us at each workshop (and God knows we also eat well at these gatherings!). Nicole also prays with me every day-in fact, if I have prayed Vespers before she has an opportunity to join me, she becomes visibly irritated!


Truthfully, I could not move forward in formation or fulfill the Lord's plan for my vocation, whatever that might be, without Nicole's help and support. Bluntly put, it would be impossible for me to actively pursue formation to the permanent deaconate without her very active assistance. Sometimes that assistance may not appear openly to others, but it is always there. No one has helped me in the way that she has.

Secondly, but nearly as important, I never cease to be amazed at the support and encouragement I receive from my brother Aspirants. My classmates are a constant help to me, even though some of them may not realize it-I can feel their prayers. Furthermore, there are a number of them who have gone out of their way to insure that I can participate actively and get the most out of the theological education and spiritual formation that I am blessed to be receiving. If it weren't for Steve Helmbrecht and Don Griffith, who are my fellow classmates in our deanery, I wouldn't be able to make mandatory formation weekends, let alone be able to truly be spiritually and theologically formed. It is no exaggeration to say that doing this would be impossible without them, and that I have come to rely on them (Steve is at my house at 4:00 pm on formation Fridays like clockwork). Both of them were sent by the Lord to make my formation possible-I truly believe this. How I would make formation regularly was a real concern for Deacon Tim Elliott, our diocesan Director of Deacons-it was a concern for me too...but I told him that I believed that if it is truly God's will for me to be in formation for the deaconate, God would provide for me a way, and thus far through Steve and Don and their wonderful wives, he has done so.


I cannot stress enough the level of friendship and camaraderie that one feels with one's classmates in the process of formation. The Church calls this fellowship communio, and I've come to see how important it is when you are receiving the call of the Holy Spirit to devote your life to the Lord's work not only that you have this kind of relationship with your brothers, but that it be maintained. I also understand now-even more than I have before up to this point-what Deacon Bob Smearing meant when he told me that I would be amazed at just how close I became to my brothers in formation.


The kindness and consideration of my brothers does not cease to amaze me, whether it is that extra hand, or offer of help getting to my room after keeping vigil with some of them, or that word of prayer or touch of concern if something doesn't seem quite right. The front row regulars all now know how I take my coffee. Scott Maentz, whose blog is on my sidebar, not only ministers to all of us through his digital notes and audio recordings of our classes (which have saved me on more than one occasion), but  surprised me with a Christmas gift of Logos Verbum Bible Software. Scott has recommended this software to the other men for some time-now I see why. The digital library of more than 20 Bible translations and Catholic Bible commentaries, Greek dictionaries, concordances, maps, Ante-Nicene and Post-Nicene Church Fathers, conciliar documents, catechisms (including the Catechism of the Catholic Church), writings of saints, historical resources, encyclicals, and papal documents spanning centuries would cost thousands of dollars in print form. Since literally everything is cross-linked and cross-referenced, a resource like this is invaluable not just for future class research, but has all that is needed for years worth of biblical and ecclesiastical study, teaching, homily writing, and preaching. If Logos stays in business (meaning that I'll continue to be able to download the updates as they come in), I may never have to buy another Bible commentary again, because if some new important item comes out, Logos will probably add it to their basic collection.


I wasn't expecting Scott's incredible gift, so I was truly humbled that one of my brothers would think of me in this way-and yes, so far I recommend the software too, and I think it is a whole lot cheaper than the money you'll spend building a similar print library.


The year 2012 was a trying year, but we were blessed in so many ways-I am praying that the Lord continues to bless me, undeserving servant that I am, in continued discernment. Thank you, people who have been praying for me...I have felt your prayers every day/

Nativity of the Lord

When I celebrate Vespers in about two and a half hours from now, it will be the First Vespers of Christmas. Some parishes in our diocese and around the country will have their first Christmas Masses about a half an hour from the time I am writing this-some parishes around the Eastern part of the country have already had that first Christmas Mass. Most of us will go to Mass tonight for the traditional Mass at night on Christmas-I'm still getting used to this whole idea of having Midnight Mass at 10pm, even though it has become the new standard in many places for some years now. Yes, I know it is designed to insure that we can get to bed at a decent hour, and that nowadays even the Pope celebrates the Christmas Liturgy at 10pm-but I'm a traditionalist at heart. I think we've lost something-however small and insignificant-by moving the Liturgy heretofore known as the Midnight Mass to a time when no part of it is likely to be occurring at or near the Midnight hour. However, many years from now we are all likely to be used to the new custom and might find a Mass at Midnight very strange indeed.


I hope and pray that wherever you are, you've had a Blessed and a prayerful Advent, one to prepare you in a joyful spirit for celebrating the Lord's coming. It is a busy time, yes. It can be a time when it is very hard to reflect on the reason for celebration and festivity.


Remember that Mary and Joseph couldn't find a room at the inn for the Christ Child, and as the Holy Father has pointed out this evening in his Christmas homily, in a very real way we fail to make room for Christ when we find time for all of the other concerns and cares of this world, but fail to make time for God. God loved us so much that he sent his only-begotten Son into the world to live as one of us, and to be tempted, suffer, and to die. Yet, on the very day we commemorate this reality, many are so concerned with merriment, food, drink, gift getting and gift giving that they won't even darken the door of a church today. Still others may "go through the motions" of Christian worship on this Feast of the Nativity, but forget entirely those who have nothing to eat, let alone gifts or goodies. In this way, we also fail to leave room for Christ in the inn of our hearts.


This is not to say that our celebration, merry-making, gift exchanges, and joyful intake of food and spirits shouldn't happen-I'll enjoy those same things today, and I would encourage all of you to do the same. If the birth of the Messiah isn't a reason to get happy, I don't know what is! But we should have a joy that is worth sharing with others, especially those who have many reasons in their life not to be joyful. First and foremost, Christ has come for them, to proclaim liberty to captives of all kinds, and proclaim the "year of the Lord's favor."


Finally-and this one is for you Catholics (as well as those from other liturgical traditions)-we need to be careful that we do not let our Christmas celebrations end after tonight and tomorrow. When we engage in this kind of behavior, we have not only allowed for the Protestantization of our Christmas observance, we have done far worse, we're giving in to the secular spirit of this age. Christmas does not end at Midnight on December 25th/26th. The Christmas season really ends on January 13th, the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord. Christmas is also celebrated as an Octave-an eight-day feast, from December 25th until January 1 (the Feast of Mary, the Mother of God). Why we've gotten it into our heads that we need to do everything that has to do with Christmas in a day and a half I have no clue, but this may be one reason why some folks aren't ever able to fully enjoy Christmas, they feel like they've got to hurry and rush around to see everyone, do everything, and give all gifts and participate in all appropriate celebrating by the end of the day December 25th-that's not Christmas as it is supposed to be celebrated! If you want to do Christmas right, try spreading your celebrations out to take in as much of the season of Christmas as you possibly can-you'll really feel like you've had a Merry Christmas!


Now as you celebrate tonight-and I hope all week-read afresh the reason for that festivity.

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Luke 2:1-19:

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirin'i-us was governor of Syria.  And all went to be enrolled, each to his own city. 

 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child.  And while they were there, the time came for her to be delivered.  And she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. 

And in that region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear.  And the angel said to them, "Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people; for to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 

And this will be a sign for you: you will find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom he is pleased!"When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us."

And they went with haste, and found Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.  And when they saw it they made known the saying which had been told them concerning this child; and all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary kept all these things, pondering them in her heart. 

My own prayer of Advent abandonment

Today is the last day of Ordinary Time, and Advent (and a new Year of Grace, the Church Year 2013) begins tonight at Vespers. This has been a busy year of change and reflection for both Nicole and myself. My studies in the permanent deaconate program for the Diocese of Knoxville are moving along, and I continue to pray and discern-and I continue to believe that the Holy Spirit is calling me to continued discernment. As time passes, I believe that the Lord is calling me to the deaconate. What I have yet to discern or discover is just what my ministry will be if-by God's grace and favor-the Church does call my name on ordination day. I'm sure I'll minister at the altar, and I am sure that the pastor I serve under-whether my current one or another-might even turn me loose to preach from time to time. I hope that if that does happen, my preaching might bring both blessing and conviction to those who need those things-that I would be able in preaching to "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."


But the deaconate is not about-to quote our diocese's Assistant Director of Deacons "about being up at the altar and dressing up like the Infant of Prague." Sure, the ministry of the altar and the ministry of preaching and teaching that is a part of that is an extremely important part of being a deacon, but that isn't a deacon's exclusive function. Deacons were established initially both to proclaim the word as a prophetic function, but more importantly to care for widows, orphans, the very poor among the community (cf. Acts 6:1-8). I'm not sure what my ministry may be in the future if I am ordained, but my spiritual director has also told me not to worry so much about that-he said that there have been times in his priesthood when he didn't know what his ministry would be-it should be left ultimately to the Holy Spirit.




That is how I have come to see my ministry. In whatever way and in whatever capacity God calls me to service, even if it seems small and insignificant, then if one soul is impacted with the Gospel as a result-and not even directly by me-then all of the obstacles and hardships and trials and questions of the discernment and formation process will have been worth it.


Every day I pray that God will give me the grace I need to abandon myself completely into His hands, and to die more fully to self. When I think I am making progress in that department, I will say or do something that reminds me that I still have a long way to go...that I'm not yet where God wants me to be, but I'm willing to be, and that if I let him take hold of me more completely, he'll get me there.


This Advent, I make anew a prayer of total abandonment to God-that as Christ abandoned his very Glory to become one of us, I might abandon my own desires in order that God's purposes might be achieved, and his Name and His Church be glorified afresh in me.